TRICK OR TREAT

Well we weathered the storm both at home and in the craziness of an office being run by a maniac who forgets what has been told to him 3 minutes before.  And now here I find myself, post halloween trick-or-treatery, finally with time to blog.

Halloween is a holiday I enjoy greatly.  I have fond childhood memories of dressing up as something uninspired and unoriginal such as "hippy girl" or the classic witch.  I also remember getting more creative as I got older, for instance two years ago I went to a party as "The Hulk in transition"  Half green with clothes partially torn.  Anything that gives you the opportunity to dress up as anything you want without repercussion or judgement is quite alright by me.  Accompanied by the fact that its a license to eat candy by the fist full and you've got yourself a brilliant little holiday.  On the topic of uninspired costumes, slutty nurse, slutty police woman, slutty angel, slutty devil, slutty bunny and slutty pirate have all been done to death.  If you really need to go as something slutty, put forth some effort ladies!  How about slutty Ronald McDonald or slutty can of tuna, or even slutty Fat Albert?   I'm just saying, if you really want to stand out in the crowd put some work into it.  

This year I had about 43 kids come to the door.  There were the usual suspects, Jason & Freddy,  the man trio of spider, super and bat, several princesses, and one Buzz Lightyear who was far to scared of the ghost hanging by my door to come near enough to get his candy, his mom had to get it for him.  Then there were the unidentifiables.  I believe I handed a Coffee Crisp to a dill pickle this evening. Either that, or a very unwell cactus.  Two or three uninventives came to the door with face paint on and nothing else to really identify them as in costume.  By far the best costume was a hot air balloon that clearly took some innovation and thought well beyond the years of its wearer.  Judging by the voracious interest my father took in the description of this costume I would hazard a guess that the costumer was of paternal origins.  Also there is a good chance my dad is going to dress up as a hot air balloon next year.

One final point of interest (or maybe not depending on your prerogative); you can tell a lot by the way a child acts on Halloween.  Even if they are wired for sound on more sugar then really ought to be consumed, the ones with good manners will always say "thank you."  Tonight,  Captain America showed up at my door and yelled "trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat" and when I gave him the candy he turned and ran onto the next house, no thank you in sight.  All the while his parents were standing in the street (or at least I assumed they were parents or else something weird was going on) talking to each other and neither one said anything to him about his behaviour.  On the contrast, I had several children, including one exuberant Mini Mouse, wish me a happy halloween after they thanked me for my candy contribution.  Its all about the manners, and what better time to show your children to be polite then when they are dressed up like superheroes, travelling door to door, taking candy from total strangers.

Thus concludes the halloween addition of the blog.

On a side note, I do hope anyone affected by the Hurricane was able to take shelter and is doing well now inspire of the circumstances.  Thoughts are to those in their time of need.

Cheers & Happy Hallow's Eve
(You can't see or hear it, but I'm sitting on the couch howling like a wolf)

BATON DOWN THE HATCHES

Nearing the eve of Halloween a horror story is unfolding before us.   We are bracing for the worst here, taking cover, watching the news intently for any updates.  Of course I am talking about the potential for Mitt Romney to be elected as the next president of the US.   The mere thought of it sends shivers up my spine.  The man with the unflappable hair and right-wing extremist views becoming leader of the free world.  A man who backs his senators when they make statements such as "when a woman becomes pregnant by rape, it's what god intended" and "legitimate rape" and the ever famous self-proclaimed "binders full of women."  It is truly a backward slide in a supposedly forward moving society.  It will be epically tragic and, I'm afraid, detrimental to the American economy.

So it seems no small coincidence that a massive hurricane, one of the largest of its kind, is bearing down on the eastern seaboard.  Her name, is none other then Sandy.  Perhaps she should be called a herricane, in the face of the potential atrocities faced women's rights, and of course, the environment.  Yes mother nature can be a real bitch when you piss her off.   My hopes would be for Sandy to sweep the extremist republicans out to sea and leave everyone else untouched.  Unfortunately I know that will not happen.  It would seem fitting to remember what happened the last time a republican was in office when a hurricane struck.  The true colours of the republicans came out then, and are still being felt by the people of New Orleans to this day.

I may be away for a few days with the up coming storm, so I will leave you with my best wishes for halloween and also for everyone to stay safe and dry in the upcoming storm.


Will blog again when I can,

Cheers,

DAY 3 AND SORRY FOR THE DELAY

Once again, had a busy Friday night.  Attended a retirement party and then went out for dinner.  There was a stroke scare for a bit, but it turns out I was just allergic to someone's perfume...

So for the final day of the raw cleanse you will be eating the following:

Upon waking: 32 oz (4 cups) filtered water with lemon juice

Breakfast:

Prepare 32 oz of Raw Cleanse Green Berry Bliss Smoothie and enjoy 16oz throughout the morning.
Place remaining 16 oz in refrigerator for mid afternoon drink.

Lunch:

1 large bowl of last nights balancing broth
Orange Spinach Salad with orange-tahini dressing
Orange Spinach Salad with Orange-Tahini Dressing

Salad:

4 cups fresh baby spinach
1/2 cup fresh sliced mushrooms
1 orange peeled and sliced
1/2 cup red onion finely sliced
1/3 cup or small handful of walnuts, halved

Dressing:

1 cup fresh orange juice small handful of pitted dates 1/4 cup raw tahini
2 cloves garlic
1 tsp lemon zest
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice

Place all dressing ingredients into a blender and blend until emulsified.
Toss spinach, mushrooms, orange, and onion with desired amount of dressing, transfer onto a plate and top with walnut halves.

Mid Afternoon:

Enjoy the remaining 16 oz Green Berry Bliss Smoothie.

Diner:
Start with Raw Cocktail or Herbal tea Berry Cocktail:

1/2 cup of blueberries or your favorite berry (fresh or frozen) 1 apple
1/3 cup of filtered water or sparkling mineral water
Pass berries and apple through your juicer or blend in a high speed blender and pour into your favorite cocktail glass containing water.

Diner Salad

On a bed of mixed greens add the following: grated carrots
grated beet
Thinly sliced purple cabbage.

Dress with one of the raw dressings provided and enjoy with a side of lightly steamed broccoli tossed with a small amount of Tamari (naturally fermented soy sauce).

End the evening with a cup of your favorite herbal tea.

Now I've gone away for the weekend so I'm not sure how much blogging will get done.  Will try to do my best, but if i don't, have a lovely weekend full of shenanigans and spice!

Cheers,

RAW RAW SIS BOOM BAH DAY 2!

So, because I'm lazy and don't feel like blogging the days events, and also because I promised, here is the menu for day 2 of the raw food cleanse.  Stay tuned for day #3, which may come later tonight if I get through this mountain of laundry.  How many clothes did I wear this week??

RAW FOOD CLEANSE DAY 2 

Upon waking start off your day with 32oz (4 C) water with lemon

Breakfast:

Detoxify and energize with 16-32 oz green based juice throughout the morning.  You'll remember this from my previous blog about choking down the green paste.  Good luck to you if you try to do this one.

Here are a couple of options to choose from:

Daily Green

2 cups fresh spinach
6 celery stalks
1 medium cucumber
1/2 bunch flat leaf parsley

Run all ingredients through a juicer and enjoy!

Green Goddess

2 cups kale
4 celery stalks
2 organic apples
1 inch piece of ginger root 1 lemon peeled
1/4 bunch flat leaf parsley

Run all ingredients through a juicer and enjoy!

Helpful notes:
If the green goddess juice is too tart, add another apple to sweeten it up.
If you don’t have a juicer and can’t borrow one then you can blend everything in your
high speed blender.
If using a high speed blender to prepare your green juice, remove stringy bits from the
celery (I never did figure out how to do this so I just put it in the blender.  It's going to be disgusting no matter what you do, string is the least of your concerns), juice the lemon, you may want to grate the ginger root to your taste, de-core apples, and de-vein the kale.

LUNCH

Enjoy a large raw green salad.
Kale salad as yesterday or mixed field green salad loaded with fresh vegetables

Dressing options:
Apple cider dressing or lemon and olive oil dressing or try the honey mustard dressing below.

Honey Mustard Salad Dressing:

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup filtered water

Blend all ingredients well

MID AFTERNOON BREAK

Enjoy an herbal tea of your choice or have a nice hot cup of lemon ginger tea. This will be your saving grace as your choking through the green juice.  Just think about that delicious tea you'll get to have.

Lemon Ginger Tea

2 or more slices of ginger root (I love ginger so I tend to add 3-4 thin slices) 1 lemon wedge
honey to taste
Add hot water, let steep for a few minutes and enjoy!

Mid afternoon or earlier prepare a pot of Balancing Broth as follows:

Balancing Broth

In a large pot add the following ingredients:

1-2 medium onions
4 carrots cut into quarters
4 celery stalks cut into quarters
2 medium potatoes quartered, scrubbed and skin on 2 cups broccoli
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup fresh flat leaf parsley
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried basil

Cover with 10 cups of filtered water and bring to a boil.
Continue cooking over low heat for 1 hour.
Allow it to cool and store in your refrigerator for up to one week. Or it can be frozen for use later as a vegetable stock.

Diner:

1 large bowl of balancing broth with a few of the vegetables.

Prepare a large raw green salad as the night before. Toss with dressing of your choice from the recipes provided.

Finish your night off with an herbal tea or ginger tea.

Cheers,

RAW RAW RAW!

Here it is finally, after many days of touting last weeks 3 day raw cleanse, I am finally posting the ingredients and day by day schedule.  Due to the length of the instructions for each day, I'll post them day by day.

First off you will need the following:

• 1 bunch of Broccoli
• 1 large bunch of kale (not bok choy)
• 1 bunch of flat leaf parsley
• 1 box of PC organic field greens (or other organic lettuce)
• 1 box of PC organic spinach (pre washed and cut…makes life easier)
• 1-2 bunches of green onions
• 1 box of baby tomatoes
• 2 cucumbers (english or field)
• 1 medium onion
• 1 head of garlic (don't worry you won't use all of it)
• 2 medium potatoes
• 1 bunch of celery 
• 4-5 Large carrots
• 1 beet
• 1 small red cabbage
• 1 box of sliced mushrooms 
• 1 small red onion
• 3 oranges
• 2-3 lemons
• 4-5 Apples
• 1-2 Avocados
• Berries, fresh or frozen 
• Ginger root (for making a great orange-tahini salad dressing and ginger tea)
• Extra Virgin Coconut oil
• Apple cider vinegar
• Tahini
• Almond milk
• Small handful of walnuts
• Chia seeds 1/2 cup (you can purchase a small amount at the bulk barn)
• cayenne pepper flakes (will only need a couple of pinches but if you like it spicy then get more)
• 1 bottle of kombucha (a bottled drink that can be found at Harmony or other whole food stores) 

Plus any other vegetables you like to have in your salads or low glycemic fruit that you like to eat at this time of year, this includes apples, kiwi's and berries.

DAY 1 MENU PLAN

BREAKFAST

Upon waking: Drink 32oz (4 Cups) of pure filtered water with juice of a quarter of a lemon to begin to flush your system. Continue to drink pure filtered water throughout your day to stay hydrated.

BREAKFAST:
Raw Cleanse Green Berry Bliss Smoothie

In a high speed blender add the following items:

2 large handfuls of spinach or de-veined kale 

1 cup of fresh or frozen berries of your choice 

2 cups of almond milk
1 table spoon of chia seeds pre-soaked
1 tsp of coconut oil

Blend till smooth and enjoy.

Helpful Notes:

I tried making this smoothie with both spinach and kale and it was equally good.
If using plain almond milk add a pinch of pure organic vanilla extract for some added
yumminess
Pre-soak the chia seeds in 1 cup of almond milk while getting other things ready. If
you have never used chia seeds before they are tiny white or black seeds and when added to water the swell and become gelatinous. They are a great source of protein, omega-3, omega-6 and fibre.
Coconut oil is solid at room temperature. I just lightly scrap 1 tsp off and add to the blender while running. If you prefer you can melt the oil by placing it over some hot water in a container.

LUNCH:

Raw Kale Salad
In a large bowl add the following:

2-3 large handfuls of Kale (wash and de-veined)

1-2 large handful of field greens
1/2 cup of grape tomatoes sliced in half
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1/2 large english cucumber or field cucumber 1/2 red pepper (optional)

Plus any other salad veggies that you like to add in your salads.

Dressing:
In a small bowl whisk together:

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
Juice of 1/2 lemon of fresh lemon juice 

2 pinches of dried herbs of your choice 

1/2 tsp of sea salt (add to your liking)

Once salt is completely dissolved add to salad to taste, toss and enjoy!

Place any remaining dressing into a small glass jar and store in the fridge.

Helpful Notes:

Apple cider vinegar can be replaced with a vinegar of your choice. However, unpasteurized apple cider vinegar such as Bragg’s contains the “Mother”. The “Mother” is a protein enzyme molecules that are connected in stand-like chains. Read more information on the benefits of raw apple cider click at the following link: 

www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/the-benefits-of-apple-cider-vinegar www.bragg.com/books/acv_excerpt

DINNER

Pre-Diner Cocktail and Appetizer

1 cup Kombucha
1/3 cup of fresh or frozen fruit

In a coctail glass add fruit to the bottom and gently crush (not to much) just want the juices to be released. Then poor 1 cup of kombucha over top, mix and enjoy.

Enjoy a fruit salad as an appetizer consisting of 1 small apple, 1 cup of berries (fresh or previously frozen berries can be used here), and if available 1/2 banana.

Diner Salad:

Prepare a large salad of mixed greens, with plenty of vegetables such as cucumbers, tomatoes, avacado, bell peppers, sprouts, diced celery etc.

Keep the dressing simple: 

Extra virgin olive oil
Lemon juice Sea salt
Add directly to the salad to your liking, toss and enjoy

After diner tea:
Lemon Ginger Tea
2 or more slices of ginger root (I love ginger so I tend to add 3-4 thin slices) 1 lemon wedge
honey to taste

Add hot water, let steep for a few minutes and enjoy! 

I will post day the menu for day #2 tomorrow.

Cheers,

THIS FOOD IS FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY

Because I believe in helping my fellow man, by default I have be come the charity campaign co-ordinator for our office's annual charity campaign activity.    It's months of planning and work and organizing and each year I seem to take on more and more.  Last year was an exceptional year, we raised nearly $4000 for a local women's shelter.  When I started working at this office, the annual take was about $1500 which is still nothing to sneeze at.  The fact that each time I have volunteered to help with charity campaigns (as I have done in almost every office I've worked in) they typically double in collection, has always made me feel good and kept me going.  Last year was also exceptional in that I finally felt like it was time for me to step down from the roll as it was consuming me and no one else really seemed to care or put forth any effort.  On the day of the event, when everything came together and we handed the cheque to a very grateful organization, I had a change of heart.  I agreed to do it again this year and added even more fundraising efforts to it, in hopes of breaking that $4000 mark.

If only I'd stuck to my original plan to resign last year...  This year's event is turning into a three ring circus with me at the centre of the big top.  While I did have some help last year, the two people I could rely on the most have both had health issues and are no longer working.  Of course I understand that and their respective situations are far more important then this charity campaign.  Unfortunately that has left me with a handful of people to help, people who have not offered much throughout the planning of this event, until the very last minute.  The event we hold is a BBQ which also features a raffle of donations and a mix of games people pay to play.  The thing about organizing a bbq is that it's key to have food.  Last year we dodged a near bullet when I arrived at the dreaded Zehr's to pick up our order and the store manager (who was a different manager on duty then the lax character I had spoken to the day before to confirm our order) had no idea what I was talking about.  Luckily they pulled the food order together and gave us a significant discount.  It was my greatest fear to not have food for the event.  This year, one of the charity team members told me he had an in with No Frills.  Up until a week and a half ago I had no idea if he had spoken to them or not because he had been away from the office.  Last Friday he told me that No Frills charity manager would get back to him about our order.

Now I'd like to be perfectly clear here.  We were not looking for a donation of any kind for the food, we were paying for it, an order which on average runs $800.  Most businesses are thrilled to get that order.  No Frills, apparently, does not like making money.  This morning, I still had no answer as to if they were going to let us buy the food from them, the grocery store.  Finally this afternoon my co-worker got an answer, and the answer was this:  They did not wish to put our order together.  Again, to be clear, the grocery store, where one typically goes to buy food, did not wish to sell us food.  The BBQ is in two days.  I am not panicking by any means because I know this will work out, but it's laughable.  So I hopped in my truck, grocery list in hand and headed to my old stand by... you guessed it, Sobey's.  I was on my way across the parking lot when I heard a horn beeping frantically.  When I looked up I saw it was my co-worker careening into the parking lot.  Apparently No Frills, remembering their main function as a business was to sell the food, agreed to put the items together, but were unable to supply us with a couple things because they didn't carry them.  Fine I say, it would have been simple enough to tell us that last week, but whatever.  In retrospect, I wish I'd had already agreed to deal with Sobey's so we could call No Frill's back and say "I'm sorry, we no long her need the food you were going to refuse to sell us."  Next, my co-worker informs me that they don't want us to pick the food up to early.  The BBQ starts at 11:30am.  So even though they've agreed to supply us with food, there are still restrictions.  Who knows what will happen at this point.  All I can say is tay tuned and please pray to the grocery store Gods for me.

Cheers,

PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES

Good Monday evening, my bloggies (my new word for my readers).  I sincerely hope you can forgive the radio silence I've been under, or rather blog silence.  It's been a hectic weekend, which as you may guess, is riddled with calamity and hilarity.  Without further ado, let me get you up to speed since we last met on my blog.

Friday night, after a failed attempt to control the food monster in me, I went to bed full of Tostitos and guacamole and a couple of glasses of red wine.  I awoke around 2:30 to the worst charlie horse/leg cramp I have ever had.  It struck me in the shin, on the outside of my left leg.  I tried everything to get it to ease up, but the only thing that worked seemed to be standing and walking on it.  Which would have been all well and good on any given Friday, except I was picking up an extra early shift on Saturday morning.  Not so great.  When it was time to get up, I was exhausted from a restless sleep.

Saturday's shift went well, uneventful, I even got out early.  I thought I'll go home and have a nap with all this extra time I have!  Oh the afternoon nap, so illusive in its nature.

For a little over a year now, myself and three girlfriends get together every few weeks for a dinner party.  Whoever is hosting does the main course, and each of us contribute something else i.e. dessert, drinks and appetizers.  I was on drinks this time, which happens to be my specialty.  Now this group of friends all lives about an hour away from me, so I was on a time schedule to get there, which meant my nap had to involve the alarm clock.  I came home at 1pm, set the alarm for 3pm as a worst case scenario.  As exhausted as I was, I could not sleep.  Neighbours were out howling in the streets like a bunch of wild beasts, somehow the sound of vacuum cleaners being slammed into furniture was reverberating through the entire house, and the capper of it all was the two steeped teas I had consumed in the morning were doing their caffein best to keep me awake.  I finally slipped into a deep sleep, at 2:50pm.  I stumbled into the shower, attempted a new styling device for  my hair (not a good idea to bust out a new toy when you're on a tight time table).  By the time my hair was done it was already 10 minutes later then I planned to leave and I still had yet to do make up and choose an outfit!  I ended up leaving half an hour later then I intended and so I was late.  I'm blaming the majority of this on the curling spin brush doohickey, the rest is on me for not having pre planned an outfit.

Once at the party I began to drink.  It was a great time, as usual.  I remember laughing and eating and talking girls stuff with the girls.  Solving all the worlds problems while stuffing my face and drinking wine like I was Italian.  Then came Sunday morning.  The damage was worse then I had thought.  I woke up at 11:22am like I was a teenager again.  My head felt like it had grown 3 times its size and I must have been sucking on cotton balls all night my mouth was so dry.  I made may way down to the living room and it was on this trip down the stairs that I discovered I had painted my nails at some point in the night.  Shockingly, I did a fairly good job.  I gathered up my belongings and hopped in my truck to make the drive home.  It was on the drive home that I started receiving text messages.  They were replies to the many texts I had sent the night before,  some were sent to the girls who were at the party and sitting across from me when I sent them.  These texts ranged anywhere from requests to pass the chicken to, summer vacation plans to a message about a new species of praying mantis which I can not explain.  I responded to my friends in kind, explaining the copious amounts of wine that went into each text message.  This seemed to placate everyone, and I thought everything was fine until someone informed me that my tweet was hilarious.  What?  I was tweeting?  I will quote "I'm so drunk! RT if you're #drunk"  I'd like to remind you I just turned 31 two weeks ago.  Once I realized that twitter was open season I figured I'd better check Facebook.  There were two similar posts on there as well.  Remember when the worst thing you could do was drunk dial?  Now we can text, and message and take pictures to send them to people, who don't find a sideways picture of a wine bottle to be as riotously funny as you did at the time, even if there is a porcupine on the label.  And if that's not enough, through the magic of twitter and Facebook we can share with the world just how drunken and ridiculous we are.  Let us all be thankful my laptop was safely at home and well out of arms reach or god only knows what would have popped up on here on Saturday night/Sunday morning.

I guess what it boils down to is that not only do I owe my bloggies an apology for my absence in blog, but I also owe anyone who was a member of my contact list, twitter follower or Facebook friend an apology for my very public display of intoxication.  For now I am back on the straight and narrow, and after the epic hangover that I think I am still dealing with, I intend to stay in a state of sobriety for a very long time.

Stay tuned for a copy of the 3 day raw cleanse to be posted soon...

Cheers,

YOU SHOULD BE BLOGGING, YEAH!

Well I didn't think I was going to blog tonight, I'm not very inspired.  But then I thought of all those faithful reader's who would be checking my blog, eagerly awaiting the newest addition to the blog-lection (that's a new word I created meaning blog collection).

Today while listening to the CBC radio, they were discussing cheating, specifically in regards to the whole Lance Armstrong debacle, but they were asking people if they had ever cheated and to call in with the details.  All I could think of was cheating on a diet.  I've been on so many diets and cheated on all, that led me to thinking that cheating on a diet for me is more like a full blown affair.  I posted this to my twitter account which then led to a number of questions about what I had for lunch.  What I had for lunch was actually ver healthy,  a nice spinach salad with my favourite home made dijon dressing.

The diet affair didn't start until later in the evening.  I have been eating raw for most of this week, tonight I had a baked chicken breast and some dijon roasted potatoes (due to the fact that all the grocery store had when I went looking for dijon mustard, were the large containers, I am now making everything into a dijon flavour), but it wasn't enough.  I had the craving for salty, crunchy and garlicy.  So I went to Sobey's, bought a bag of corn chips and made some guacamole.  I ate all the guacamole and the corn chips, and I don't regret it one bit.  It was delicious and it prevented what would have been eating a full large pizza and poutine tomorrow to satisfy the junk food craving.

Now I'm sitting on the sofa, waiting for my laundry to be finished on a Friday so I can go to bed and get up to go to work tomorrow.

See, not very inspired.  Will blog more interesting things tomorrow...

Have a wonderful Friday night.

Cheers,

HOW THE HELL DID THEY RUN OUT OF TEA!!

This was a day that never should have been.  I woke up, bright eyed and ready to take on the day.  I was free from the restrictions of the raw cleanse and what I had missed most of all over the last three days, was the caffein filled steeped tea from Tim Horton's.  Tim Horton's, for those of you who don't know, is a coffee franchise that I can easily say, is a Canadian icon.  Everyone here knows Tim Horton's and everyone has their specific order from Tim Horton's.  It is, by nature, a coffee and donut shop, but they also have tea for those of us who don't drink coffee.  Several years ago they introduced a tea called "steeped tea" which doesn't really make a lot of sense if you think about it, because all tea is steeped to some degree, other wise you'd just be drinking hot water.  The "steeped tea," as it's touted, is essentially loose leaf tea brewed in a filter like their coffee, and I am convinced that, not only does it have more caffeine then their coffee, it's also laced with smack, because it is that addictive.  Needless to say, I was desperate for my steeped tea, so imagine my rage when I rolled up to the speaker box in the drive thru and asked for a large steeped tea with 3 milk and the squeaky voice came back over the radio and said "I'm sorry we've run out of steeped tea, can I offer you a bag tea?"  Run out?  Run out?  Isn't this your business?  How do you run out of a staple like that?  I guarantee you that they've never run out of coffee!  And to add insult to injury, she offers me a bag tea, like that's even remotely comparable!  Their bag tea tastes like bird seed in hot water in my opinion.  It's for the feint of heart, not for us real caffeine addicts.  If it had have been any other day I probably could have handled it like a rational human being and taken the bag tea, begrudgingly albeit. But today was not a normal day.  No siree, it was my first day back into the wonderful world of steeped tea, so I told her to stick the bag tea where the sun don't shine and high tailed to to the next Tim Horton's.  Again for those of you unfamiliar with this Canadian custom, Tim Horton's are on almost every street corner, you could toss a coin and hit one.  We as a nation, actually have a problem.  I digress, I hightailed it to the next Tim Horton's and low and behold a miracle was found.  They had steeped tea.  I almost cheered in the drive thru, I know I did a fist pump, which must have seemed odd to my fellow motorist in line behind me.  I have never had a tea that tasted so sweet.  I think I inhaled it to be perfectly honest, but it was well worth the 5 minute drive from one Tim's the the next and the combined 15 minute wait in line.

Unfortunately the lack of steeped tea from the first Tim Horton's seemed to be an omen of the day to come.  First the meeting I had, produced painful results which has potentially added months and an entire redo to the project I have been working on since January.  Next my moody boss had a bi-polar moment and went from laughing and jovial to cranky and not jovial (couldn't think of another adjective) and got mad at me for not wanting to volunteer my time on Saturday when I already have plans.

There was also a terrible mishap at lunch where a pre-sale on Ticketmaster ended with me being able to only get two of the three tickets I needed for a show.  Fingers are crossed I can get the third when they go on regular sale tomorrow...

And the piece de resistance was another marred attempt at grocery shopping.  I went to the discount store this time, it was on my way home so I thought I'd save myself some time.  How busy could the store be on a Thursday at 4pm?  Things got of too a rocky start when I didn't have a quarter to "lease" my shopping cart for the term of my stay at Fresco.  Then there were no loose cooking onions, just 5lb bags, I don't need 5lbs of cooking onions.  None of the garlic looked any great hell and I totally forgot to buy chicken.  When it was time to check out, they had two check outs going, one was the express, the other was the regular line.  Both were lined up down the aisles.  Wouldn't you think you might want to call for back up at this point?  If you haven't figured out from the .25 cents that I needed to use a cart, this is a bag-your-own kind of store, and in spite of what seemed like self bagging victory at my last trip to Zehr's, when it came time to bag these groceries I was lost, total mayhem.  And because of the lack of decent garlic, onions and my forgetfulness around the poultry, I ended up going to Sobey's anyway.  Good old faithful Sobey's, where you can get a cart without having to feel like a common criminal.  Where they have staff who actually put the food, in some kind of organized pattern, in the bags for you!  In a moment of weakness, I nearly bought a rotisserie chicken and some potato wedges for dinner, but I abstained and stuck with my healthy dinner plan.  This I consider to be a small victory.

Now I'm home, I should be going to the gym, but it's cold and rainy, and given the difficulties I've had all day with social outings, I think its best if I just stay here.  God only knows what kind of hell could be lurking on the elliptical or the bench press machine.

Here's hoping your day is a little brighter for reading this.

Cheers,

THE CASE OF MISTAKE IDENTITIES...

It is day 3 of my 3 day raw cleanse, and I am feeling the benefits of this cleanse fully.  The lady who was organizing this kept talking about how much energy she has after the does this, and up until today, I couldn't say I really felt like I could run a marathon.  I actually still don't feel like I could run a marathon, but I do have more energy, my sleep is improving, my digestive tract seems to be functioning well, so all in all, it's been a good experience.

It was, however, brought to my attention that there was some misunderstanding in the produce section of Zehrs.  I have been keeping my friends abreast of my progress day to day, or moreover relying on them for moral support in the form of guilt whenever I had the urge to say F it and scarf down a Big Mac.  Yesterday a friend sent me a picture of some kale she was wanting to add to a soup and wanted to know how I made out with the deveining.  For those of you who are familiar with kale you will know this is what it looks like:

What struck me as odd was that what I purchased did not look like this.  I almost informed my friend that she was fool for having bought bok choy until it occurred to me that the real fool, might in fact be looking back at me in the mirror.

Bok Choy:

Not the same as kale.  Now I feel guilty for going around giving kale a bad name when I didn't even eat it.  It turns out that raw bok choy salad is not my favourite thing in the world.  Will be sure to try the actual kale some time soon...

In the mean time, today's diet consisted of a lovely green fruit smoothie, a spinach and orange salad with orange tahini dressing, balancing broth & a raw carrot and raw beet salad for dinner followed by me new favourite ginger lemon tea.

The smoothie is delicious, and when I have more time, I am going to post the entirety of the 3 day cleanse for anyone who'd like to try it.  I know I really sold the green leaf juice yesterday, but I bet if you added kale instead of bok choy, it would be worlds better!

The spinch and orange salad was good, but I hate oranges, can't handle that pulpy texture (almost typed puppy texture, which would have been all sorts of wrong) so I choked down one orange piece confirmed my dislike for the orange, then worked around it.

The raw beet was something new.  Who thinks of eating a raw beet?  The raw food yogini that's who...  It was terrific and the tahini orange dressing was simply to die for (picture saying this with a very plush English accent, throw in a left hand wave as you do it, makes it more fancy).

I am limited on time tonight because I have an appointment with my PVR, so I will share with you the smoothie recipe with the remainder of the recipes to follow.  In the mean time, if you interested in eating raw, or just finding out more about it, I would encourage you to check out the following blog:

http://rawfoodyogini.blogspot.ca

I swear it is just a conicidence that we have the same background theme.  First time I went in I thought "why am I looking at my own blog"  then I read it and it was logical and actually about something...


RAW CLEANSE GREEN BERRY BLISS SMOOTHIE

2 large handfuls of spinach
1 cup of fresh or frozen berries
2 cup sof almond milk
1 tbsp of chia seeds
1tsp of coconut oil

Chia seeds can be found at the Bulk Barn and probably most whole food stores.  They need to soak prior to use for them to do their stuff, so pour them into 1 cup of the almond milk before prepping the rest of your smoothie, to give them time to expand.

Blend all ingredients and enjoy!

WELL THE TEA WAS GOOD...

Oh my, blog followers, my fears about the green leaf juice were not unwarranted.   It was a challenge, to say the least, to choke it down.  It took me 2.5 hours to drink apps 3 cups of green leafy juice that tasted like spinach had an affair with celery and it turned into a weird four-way with cucumber and and parsley.  To top it off, it was very very very thick.  So I poured some lemon water into it and shook.  This did not improve the flavour, but it did make it easier to drink since it was less of a paste after I added the water.  2.5 hours into my day, green juice consumed, it was time for a rejuvenating tea.  It doesn't sound like much, but after the green paste I was sooo looking forward to the tea.  That's when my computer decided to have a melt down and I had to call the IT department.  An hour later, we got to the bottom of the PDF crisis, but I still hadn't had my tea.  Now I'm not sure how strict the rules are when following the 3 day raw cleanse, but I decided to have my tea with my big salad, even though there was no tea time allotment at lunch.  I also decided to have some of the cleansing broth this afternoon which was reserved for tonights big salad dinner.

This cleanse is turning into quite a challenge.  I give anyone who eats raw on a regular basis, a great deal of credit.  I am almost 100% certain that I'm going to be having the anti-raw meal day on Thursday which will culminate with a big juicy rib eye steak on the grill with a side of turkey.  No that's not true, that would utterly defeat the purpose of the cleanse, but I will be rewarding myself with a healthy non-raw option and maybe a cupcake.

I have not yet seen the menu for tomorrow so I can't tell you what kind of crazy breakfast beverage I'll be having tomorrow, but I can tell you this:  Of the list of groceries I bought for the 3 day cleanse I have used all but one of the items.  The one that remains unused yet is the medium beet.  I can only imagine what this beet is going to be used for and I am scared.   I feel like it will be juice related...

Will keep you posted of my progress on the last day.

Cheers,

TODAY'S BLOG IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER 'W'

For Work, as in holy smokes how is eating raw food this much work??  (incidentally, you needed to read the title of my blog first for the first sentence to make sense.  If you didnt I am ashamed of you.  No I'm not, you're still my favourite blog reader).  I'm de-veining kale, I'm crushing garlic, I'm chopping up vegetables like  a sou chef, only no one's paying me and I've had no formal training of any kind so a lot of the vegetables are getting murdered.  Tonight for instance, I had the great honour of trying to cut up ginger root.  Now I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you don't eat that peely bit that covers the root.  How in the hell do you get that off?? I used a paring knife, like it was some kind of exotic and misshapen fish I was attempting to clean.  In the end, I'm sure a quarter of the ginger root ended up in the compost bucket instead of in my ginger lemon tea with a dash of honey!

This cleanse is taking a tole on so many aspects of my life.  It is incredibly time consuming, so much so that I missed a major political announcement while I  was putting together the ingredients required for the cleansing vegetable broth.  I've barely had time to sit down, drink my tea and blog!

Today was a challenge food wise also,  I got up 10 minutes earlier to make my smoothie, which consisted of a handful of spinach, a cup of frozen berries, one table spoon of chia seeds and 2 cups of almond milk.  The chia seeds need to be soaked first so they can expand and do their stuff (which apparently is quite fantastic when they do it).  I needed to allow for soaking time in the almond milk, which I did while I was shoving spinach into my blender.  I was nervous about how I'd like this concoction, but it actually was quite tasty, though not all of the chia seeds puffed up the way they were meant too.  Then it was time for lunch,  I would recommend, for those who've never had kale before, not to make a salad that is 97% kale.  It's not horrible, but it's not my favourite thing and I found the cider dressing I made to go with it, too acidic.  It felt like I was burning my tongue with every mouthful.  Lesson learned for dinner.  I added no kale, went with mixed greens and spinach and a whole crap load of vegetables.  Also tried out home made honey dijon dressing which will now be my dressing of choice for the remainder of the raw cleanse.

In terms of the "cleanse" portion of this experiment, I will save the gory details, but I will say this:  It does what it's supposed to do.  On top of that, I feel like everything is working in harmony together, like I've balanced out the ph in my body and things are running like a well oiled machine.  My stomach, which has been in knots for days now, actually feels calm and relaxed.  So I guess there is something to this.

While I was apprehensive about this morning's breakfast plan, I am down right terrified of tomorrow's.  It's leafy greens juice day!  Yay!!  Only I don't have a juicer so I'm being told I can improvise with a blender.  Leafy green juice day afforded me the choice between a kale & cucumber smoothie or a spinach, celery and parsley smoothie.  I went for the spinach one.  Not sure how I'm going to puree this all up into a juice format so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to comment.  Also it was suggested that I "de-string" the celery.  Again, any ideas on how to de-string celery would be most helpful. The next think I'm not sure of is how I'm going to get this thing into me without tossing my raw cookies all over the place.  Should be a good challenge I'm sure.  I will let you know how things go tomorrow, unless I'm too green...bazinga!

Cheers,

IT HAPPENED AGAIN...

Today is the last day before I begin a 3 day raw food cleanse, which does not mean I'm spending the next 3 days throwing out raw food from my fridge.  What it means is, for the next three days, I will be eating nothing but raw food.  Not only does it mean eating raw, but it means eating raw food that will clean me out, hopefully, in a non-violent fashion.

Today I had to make a pilgrimage to the grocery store in order to purchase the required list of food for the cleanse. If you've been reading my blog, then you'll know I have some serious issues surrounding groceries.  Today was no exception.  To top it off I wasn't just shopping for my traditional list of food, which I've committed to memory, I was shopping for things like extra virgin coconut oil, chia seeds and kombucha.  One of the articles on my list was tahini.  It always seems to me that when grocery shopping for something new, there is always one item on your list that seems to be hidden, and try as you might, you'll circle the store, checking every aisle you can think of that might contain that missing ingredient, and you will not find it.  Today it was very nearly the almond milk, but in the end it was the tahini.  Such a simple little bottle of sesame paste was oh so illusive.  I checked everywhere I could think of that might be aisle that contained the tahini, I even checked the pet food aisle, just in case.  If there was tahini in the Zehr's in Orangeville, it was well hidden.  Bravo I say to the staff at said grocery store, you have succeeded.   Rest assured, I had to go to the whole foods store to get the kombucha (which is pronounced kombu-cha, not kombuka as the friendly organic granola vegan eating hippy store clerk so snottily informed me) and it was here that I found the tahini.

So after tonight I'll be eating raw food till Wednesday night.  I'm a little afraid.  First of all I have to learn how to de-vein kale.  I didn't even know leafy greens had veins, and now I have to learn how to remove them.  Also, typically my mornings involve sleeping until I absolutely have to get up and taking a package of instant oatmeal to work for breakfast.  Tomorrow I have to make a smoothie.  This is going to mean getting up to give myself enough time to make the smoothie!  That's got to be at least 10 minutes of sleep I'm sacrificing.  Tonight, after I de-vein the kale, I'm making a salad for lunch with a ginger apple cider dressing.  There's going to be cutting and slicing of vegetables and finding an appropriate container with which to transport all the kale and veggies and the ginger and apple cider dressing which I am still yet to make.

So for the next 3 days my blogs will revolve around my raw cleanse progress.  In advance, there's a chance I might be a touch cranky over the next few days, so I will apologize now.  Until tomorrow...

Cheers,

I REALLY SHOULD HAVE WORN STRETCHIER PANTS

Today was the celebratory day of shopping for my self and a friend (who I now know is an avid reader of my blogs ; P) who completed a loose 10lbs in one month challenge.  She succeeded, I came up 4.5lbs short.   The deadline for the weigh in was last Wednesday and, thanks to over consumption of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, bread and an orgy of pies, I didn't exactly hit the target.  I thought I'd generously give myself an extension to Friday, but due to some serious water retention from forces beyond my control, the scale was not my friend.  Will check again next week, but will have a blow torch handy if the scale is not in my favour.

In light of my somewhat dismal failure at the weight loss challenge, which was my idea by the way, I said I was not going to buy anything other then a new sports bra.  Do you know what it's like for a woman to be in a mall full of clothes and say "I'm just looking?"  It's like trying to hold back the sea, and the sea, she's very angry.  Before I knew it i was standing in a change room with what seemed like a rack full of clothes, like I just said "bring me all the clothes, I will wear them!!"  Actually it was two shirts and one dress, but still...

My typical experience with shopping has been this:  If you have money and you want to find new clothes, there is nothing but hideous things that don't fit and make you look like you squoze yourself into sausage casing.  If you have no money and you don't need to buy anything, you'll find an entire wardrobe that is perfect.  My other typical experience with shopping is that I hate the mirrors in the mall.  Is it the lighting, the angle of the mirror?  I know I didn't leave the house looking like bozo the clown after a night of binge drinking and a pizza eating contest, why do I look like that now?  Today, as any other day when I was "just looking,"  the shopping mall stars aligned.  The store mirrors made me look fantastic, the clothes didn't look like I was trying to squeeze myself into a child's size and there were oh so many wonderful shirts, dresses & jackets to choose from.  So I shopped.  I did show some restraint, but still I flexed my plastic muscle a little bit more then I would have liked to.  But I have to admit, it felt pretty damned good to be comfortable in my skin and wearing clothes that didn't make me look like a dump truck, so even though I splurged more then I should have, I don't regret it.

What I will regret is the feeding frenzy that happened post shopping spree.   Both my friend and I have been working hard, and eating clean (with the exception of the Thanksgiving weekend) and so when we got to the restaurant, in spite of my best intentions, the food monster in me was unleashed.  There was poutine, and nachos, and cheesy garlic bread and wings and some kind of mexican tuna concoction.  Our whole table was covered in plates of food.  There was enough for another 4 people to have joined us.   The servers kept trying to clear the plates even before we had emptied them.  I think its because the other patrons were starting to get uncomfortable.  And we ate as though we had never had food before, and after 4 weeks of eating very healthy, it was almost like I had never had food like that before.  I am so full it's disgusting.  I just got home, I can't believe my pants didn't explode on the ride back from the city.   Fortunately for me, I'm starting a 3 day raw cleanse on Monday and boy do I have something to cleanse now.

Here's to hoping your Saturday night is as full and robust as mine was!

Cheers,

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING!?!?!

To paraphrase the classic Sam Cooke song "another (Friday) night and I ain't got no body."   Laundry is done, so I don't even have that to fall back on.  For some ridiculous reason I agreed to work tomorrow so I'm not even able to sit back and enjoy a bottle of wine...

No, I'm home, flipping through the channels and I can't help but notice the complete downward spiral of what passes for entertainment these days.  Shows about groups of drunk people with lax morals living in a house by a beach, drinking and screwing as much as they can.  Shows about hillbillies of any variety, living in a swamp, participating in child beauty pageants, buying storage units.  Shows about women with no self worth who need to be told that the married man they've been seeing for years isn't going to leave his wife for them.... the list just goes on and on.  I'm not preaching from a pedestal either, so don't think I'm looking down my nose at anyone who watches these shows.  I have fallen victim many times to the vacuous television programming that seems to be lurking on each station.  

The thing is, people love smutt don't we?  If there's a chance of seeing someone fall flat on their face, both literally and figuratively, in a totally humiliating and public forum, we're all for it.  Let's put a bunch of dudes on a show all vying for the attention of one woman, while she judges them and then dismisses them like an article of clothing.  Then we'll watch them fight, cry and plead for her.  That's entertainment!

Is it just that all the good ideas have been done, or have we just lowered our standards to such a base level that we are thrilled to watch this trash?  It's difficult to say really.  I've been addicted to Jersey Shore for the last 5 seasons, and I am not proud of it.   It's not something I share lightly, but I can't get enough of watching these self centred, egotistical morons parade around drunk and act like apes.  Its just good shit.

Today someone informed me that there is a show, which I have also learned has recently been cancelled, called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and that I must watch it.  It's hilariously about an obese mother who's daughter participates in child beauty pageants (which is a whole other beast in and of itself) and all this takes place in the deep south where having teeth is considered a measure of high standing.  My first thought was "I have got to see that" my second thought was why?  What happened to the clever shows like Arrested Development?  Why do they not thrive like this base classless garbage we can't seem to get enough of?  It's like the McDonald's of the TV world, full of nothing but empty calories that keep us longing for more. 

I guess there's nothing we can do but push onward, wading though mindless shows that make us feel better about our small existence on this big blue planet.   And so to that, I am about to hit play on the PVR for the latest episode of Jersey Shore.

Cheers,

A DAY TO REMEMBER

Today is the first international Day of the Girl and I didn't even know that was a thing.  It seems that it is somewhat connected to the girl who was shot and killed by the Taliban in Pakistan.  I have had a busy day and haven't had a chance to read up on all the details of the Day of the Girl.

It seems to me like this is long overdue, and the fact that it took a girl activist being shot, by the taliban no less, to make this happen is quite a sad state of affairs.  Its 2012 and yet it seems all around us the rights of women and girls are taking a backward slide in society.  Now I hate to go all Gloria Steinem on everyone, but feminism is not parading around on a music video in a bra and underwear shouting "girl power."  In the US we have Mitt Romney and his cronies touting "legitimate rape" as being something that "a woman's body has a way of handling so that she won't get pregnant" while in other states the abortion laws are being overturned left right and centre.  Even in Canada, some politicians seek to open the debate about when life begins and protecting the fetus.  There have been significant cut backs in women's health and services all across the board.  It seems the politicians of North America feel that a woman's body is not hers to decide what should be done to it.  Isn't that the very reason we sent soldiers to die in countries like Afghanistan and Iraq?  Aren't those the kinds of freedoms that people died for?  Soon they'll be telling us we aren't people again and we will have to give back the right to vote or own land.

Maybe that's a little bit too pessimistic, but I think we have become complacent in the last 30 years.   Feminism was never about being able to dress a certain way.  What would our bra burning feminist sisters of the 60's say?  Sure there's been some major improvements, but we are by no means equal yet.  Men still dominate the board room & the political arena, and apparently they think we should all just be quiet and do as we're told.

On this, the first international Day of the Girl, I would encourage you to think about what feminism means to you, and if you don't think you're a feminist then look it up.  You might be surprised to find that the stereo type of tattooed lesbians with shaved heads, is not actually what being a feminist is.  I encourage you to think about what issues are really at stake for you, your mother, sisters, and daughters...

I know, this one was a little intense, but deservedly so.  Wishing you a happy and healthy Day of the Girl,

Cheers,

I DON'T REALLY LIKE GRAPE JUICE UNLESS ITS BEEN FERMENTED...

Ahoy hoy good readers,

I really don't have one particular subject worth devoting the entirety of this blank screen too, so I'm going to share with you a few random thoughts, observances and/or musings.  Technically, I guess a musing would be the same as a thought, only fancier...

Has anyone been to the deodorant isle lately?  What is going on in there?  I mean at one point did shower fresh or baby powder become not enough of an option for our armpits?  Now they've got pomegranate passion, vanilla swirl, mango tango, these sounds more like something you'd order at a smoothie bar then something you'd roll under your pits!  I even saw one called red silk.  What the hell does red silk smell like?  I could maybe even forgive just plain old silk because I'm sure silk has its own smell, but to specifically define the scent of red silk?  Well that, my friends, is just arrogant.  I know the manufacturer is just trying to increase their monthly yields, but I think we have come as far as we can with deodorant and maybe its time to turn out attention to more pressing matters like finding the cure for diabetes or something... I'm just saying, a lot of time and money probably went into the market research as well as the scientific process, of making a deodorant that makes you're underarm shimmer like a pearl and smell like fresh lavender in the fields of France...   Could have been better spent is all.


Plastic surgery has always seemed like and odd choice to me.   Has anyone noticed that after several face lifts and lip injections they all start to look the same.  And you know who they look like?  They look like the hippy muppet from the muppet show, the one with huge lips.   Why the hell does anyone need lips that big anyway, what are you planning on doing with those, using them as a raft for the coming of the flood?  Look we all have hang ups, but if you're whole self worth is tied up in how you look then something is not right people.  Beauty is really only skin deep.  Have you ever seen someone and thought "wow, he/she is really good looking?"  and then they open their mouth and turn out to be a racist idiot and all of sudden you don't think they're so goo looking... That's what its all about.  Work on the inside, forget about the outside, it's nothing a little vanilla swirl deodorant can't improve.  And the beauty about vanilla swirl deodorant is, chances are if you use it you won't wake up with a nipple that's out of line with the other nipple.

That might be all the time we have for tonight's session.  If you're looking for some good, healthy and somewhat gluten free recipes I suggest the following link.  I've got tonnes of great ideas off of it.

THE GRACIOUS PANTRY

Enjoy & cheers,

AND ANOTHER THING...

Just discovered several fun new features to add to my blog.  You will now notice a poll on the left of your screen.  Please feel free to participate so I can get to know my reading audience better.

Vote in the poll or I will be shamed forever

WELL AS YOU CAN SEE THERE'S BEEN SOME CHANGES

Alright, so I sold out to the man and decided to let advertisers onto my blog.  Does this make me any worse the the Black Eyed Peas or Bob Dylan or any of the rest of my fellow sell outs chasing the all mighty dollar?  I am still the same person, my principles and beliefs have not changed, I just think if I can capitalize on my crazy then why the heck not?  I'd be crazy not to!

Now I see there's some fantastical adds for magic weight loss solutions and one for some kind of t-shirt.  I can't speak for the t-shirt adds, but I can speak for the fantastical weight loss.  I don't know if I'm in some kind of violation of the blogger-advertiser code, but I feel that I must speak out.  There is no magic pill, no special formulized diet or at home work out in this world that is going to make you drop 50lbs in 3 months, and if there is, it's not safe, it's not healthy and it sure as hell isn't going to last.  As someone who's hard fought the war on the waste line and won some battles of the bulge, but tragically lost many others,  I can tell you one thing for sure.  You didn't gain that weight in a fortnight (fancy english speak for 2 weeks) and you aren't going to lose it in a fortnight either.  It takes time and effort and a total change in lifestyle.  I have tried everything, starvation, pills, insane work out routines that made me feel so out of shape and so much worse about myself that I quit after the first couple of sessions.  Trust me, there is no quick fix miracle.  If there were we'd all be skinny.

All I can tell you is this, don't beat yourself up and give up, if after a month you've only lost 2lbs.  That's  a 2lb victory in the battle.  Set small goals for yourself and give yourself time to achieve them.  Don't decide in April you're going to drop 15lbs by May and then hate yourself when it doesn't happen.  That kind of stress only adds to the problem and I 100% guarantee it makes it harder for your body to loose weight.   I've touched on this before, don't go by a number on the scale, it's about how you feel, not what the number is.  What you think you should way is not always what your body wants to weigh.  Listen to your body, and be honest, just because you weight 120 when you were 15, by no means should you weigh that when you're into your 30's.  Here's another helpful hint, the BMI is generally regarded by nutritional experts as a load of crap.  So don't go around thinking that because you're 5' 10 and 30 (oops 31 now) and female that you have to weigh some set number that a made up scale that doesn't account for bone density, genetic predispositions or the general build of your body, calculated out.

If you want my advice this is what it is:  The most success I've ever had in weight loss is eating healthy foods that were grown in the ground and not manufacture in the Frito Lays factory.  Foods whose ingredients I actually can pronounce and identify.   And of, course exercise.  Whether it's going for a 30 minute brisk walk every night, or yoga or Zumba or krav maya, find something you like to do (because if you hate it, you'll get discouraged and quit) and stick with it.

Remember it's the small victories.  And if you fall off the food wagon, or in my case, if you eat the food wagon, don't give up.  Get back on!!

Cheers,
(Hopefully I wont' loose my sponsorship over this one )

EVERYTHING WAS GOING WELL UNTIL I FOUND THE CHOCOLATE COVERED PEANUT BUTTER BALLS

I knew this weekend would be a massive challenge in my eating clean diet (which I've been told I should call a lifestyle, not a diet because of the temporariness of a diet) and just generally not eating everything I see.  I also knew I'd have to cut myself some slack because it is Thanksgiving and my birthday today.   I wasn't going to totally deprive myself, but I didn't want to turn this weekend into a feeding frenzy either and undo all the work I have done in the last two weeks.

Everything has been going well so far, I even brought up some gluten free low cal snacks to avoid the temptation to plough through a bag of potato chips like fat kid after 3 months at fat camp.  Yes I was feeling quite proud that I was sticking very strongly to clean eating, even turned my nose up at a box of Tim bits (which for those of you non-Canadians, is sometimes called donut holes, but it's basically a small round donut.  If you don't know what a donut is I can't help you).  Then something tragic happened last night.  I had a run in with my arch-nemesis, chocolate.  It started innocently enough.  I had passed the candy dish on the coffee table several times since arriving here on Friday evening and hadn't given the round balls covered in a jack-o-lantern packaging much of a second look, but last night I though "oh what the heck, I've been good today."  So peeled off the pumpkin tinfoil wrapper and popped one in my mouth.  In that moment, that split second as I bit into the chocolate, something happened that transformed my night permanently.  I discovered there was a peanut butter centre.  I can now imagine what it must feel like to be an alcoholic and think, "it's okay I can just have one"  because one turned into two, turned into three and then I found there was cheddar cheese flavoured popcorn so I had a bowl of that, then two...  To hell with the healthy low cal snack I brought, they weren't covered in cheese powder and butter substitutions giving them a somewhat greasy flavour.   It wasn't pretty, I turned into a food-zilla monster.  I suppose it could have been worse, I could have cracked into the carmel candies or started eating the halloween themed smarties by the fistful, never the less I think I have my work cut out for me when I get home...

I'd like to wish everyone a happy, safe and glutenous Thanksgiving, even for those who don't celebrate it!

Cheers,


PS: I do not mean to make light of alcoholism.  It is a serious disease that took the lives of 3 of my grandparents and has claimed several other family members as well.  

WAITING ON A MAN

I said I was going to take a little hiatus from blogging over the weekend due to the inevitable business that comes with long weekends, however;  I find myself sitting here with nothing to do but wait.  Wait you ask?  What are you waiting for?  A very good question my astute reader, and I will answer.

Throughout the dawn of time there has been a fallacy created that women take forever to get ready.  I have been waiting for my dad to get showered and shaved and dressed for what seems like an eternity.  This, by no means, is an isolated event either I'm afraid.  So what's one man compared to the many you might ask, and again I would say a valid query.  Let me me harken back to May of 2012, while I was away from my office on a 3 week training expedition.  I was putting on the training, but have become friends with many of the trainees in question, who are largely male.  There is one female in the group.  Now we were all staying at the same hotel and would endeavour to go out for dinner together and what I found 100% of the time was that I would show up at the room of one of the males at the time that had been assigned for us to meet and find him freshly awoken from a nap or just about to get in the shower.  On one particular occasion, I was greeted at the door, by a colleague wearing nothing but a towel with a toothbrush in his mouth.  My female co-worker, on the other hand, was always ready on time.

What could possibly be taking you this long to get ready?  I know you have to shave your face, but I have two legs and a couple of armpits that require the razor treatment every 3rd - 4th day (this is varies largely depending on the season).  I also have hair that needs to be blow dried or styled in some manner so as not to cause small children to have nightmares or to send wild dogs into a fit of rage.  When I'm going out for a dinner I usually slap on a coat of make-up so as not to alarm the waiter.  All these things are time consuming, dare I say, more so then having to shave and shower, and yet even now, as I have typed this entire blog, my father remains still unready to attend the Elmvale Fall fair.

It is my firm belief that women have been getting the short end of this this stick for many years now and it is time we took a stand.  Men!  We are tired of waiting on you!

Cheers,

TURKEY LURKEY

Hello bloggosphere!

I type to you with renewed vigour!  For today marks the beginning of one of my favourite holidays.  The holiday where we are meant to give thanks and remember when the pilgrims and the natives sat and dined together which gives us all an excuse to eat way too much turkey, mashed potatoes, squash and pie, all smothered in gravy.  It's a weekend where laying on the couch with pants undone, while watching football is socially acceptable.  Traditionally cold and rainy and coinciding with the Elmvale Fall fair and more importantly, my birthday, this weekend gives us pause to think and be thankful for all the many things we have in our lives.  I would like to share with you some of those things now.

I am thankful for turkey's, for if they were not so delicious and juicy, this holiday would not be nearly as interesting.

I am thankful for long weekends, for if there were no long weekends what would we have to look forward too?  It's a long haul to Christmas now...

I am thankful for my cat, who threw up and crapped himself all the way to my parents house which is about a 2 hour drive.

I am thankful for power windows which helped with ventilation on the ride up.

I am thankful for the drivers who choose to clog up the highway tonight, allowing me to snake my way through the back roads with very little difficulty (minus the stench coming from the back seat, known as the cat).

I am thankful for stretchy pants, for they allow me to consume  more food then those restrictive jeans will allow.

I am thankful for grapes because grapes give us wine and I am REALLY thankful for wine.

I am thankful for beds, because without beds napping would really stink.

I am thankful for my blog readers, you are the reason I blog.

And finally, and most importantly, I am thankful for family and friends.  What would be the point of this holiday if there was no one to share it with?

So however, and wherever you're celebrating this weekend, I hope you are enjoying this last long weekend of the year (unless you're from another country who celebrates other holidays later in the year, then I just wish you a happy and fun filled weekend).  I hope you eat too much without being self-conscious, drink too much without getting hungover, and I hope you are wishing me a happy birthday on Sunday.

I'll likely be taking a little hiatus from the blog over the weekend as things get busy, but fear not, I am certain there will be much material to work with after spending an entire weekend with my parents.

Cheers,

THE BIG DAY

Today one of my closest friends is getting married and I truly hope that none of her friends read this post before the ceremony because it's going to be a surprise wedding.  Now I should explain that, against my wishes, but due to the nature and timing of the ceremony I am unable to attend.  My friend lives on the other side of the country and so, due to lack of funds for a flight and lack of time off from work I will not be there, but I expect a full recreation of the ceremony when I fly out to visit next summer.  You're going to want to tell your guests that after the ceremony.  They'll need to keep their outfits set aside for some time in July.  

Now the surprise ceremony.  My friend, and her soon to be hubby, who, by the way is a gem, decided they would invite their friends over for a bbq and then spring the surprise wedding on them.  Really I think it's a genius idea.  Imagine how nice it would be to go to a bbq, find out that your good friends are getting married and you had no idea so did not have to suffer the agonies of sitting through an awkward dinner with a table of people you don't know, and having to buy a new outfit or just wear something that isn't comfortable all night long.  And then there's the gift, what should I get?  Did I spend enough?  What if it's offensive?  No, I think the surprise wedding is a great idea.  My parents, on the other hand, would be less the thrilled.

So they are getting married and I am sad to not be there, but very happy for them.  But of course this has got me thinking about my seemingly permanent state of singledom.  I know she'll read this.  Don't freak out that I'm analyzing my life because you're getting married.  I did it when H&M got married and when L&L got married.  It's natural when you're friends start getting married and having kids to wonder when or even if your time will come.  Given my total lack of success in the dating department thus far, it seems like I'm standing at the foot of mountain wearing flip flops (thongs if you're from Australia, flip flops if you're not, just to be clear, this is not about underwear).  It's hard and a little depressing, but I'll soldier on because I have too.  I mean, what's the alternative?  I could just lay down on the couch in a velour track suite and wait for my inevitable demise, or I can use this opportunity to be motivated, go out and find me a man!

But seriously, weddings, child births, other major life events of which I can think of no examples, they get you thinking about you don't they?  Today I listened to an interview of a 24 year old blogger who has a blog, and now subsequent book (sidebar, maybe I could have a book someday!) called F*ck! I'm in my twenties.  It made me laugh at first.  She's 24 and life didn't turn out like she planned.  I felt like saying "are you kidding me! welcome to life!" There's no script, no rules, no set course in life and as far as I can tell it doesn't change when you get out of your 30's.  There's always something more to strive for isn't there?  I mean, what would be the point of sitting down and saying "well I have everything I ever wanted and there is nothing left for me to achieve."  You know who says that?  People who are done living.  I think it would be quite boring to say "this is exactly how I expected it to be so now I can stop working to get the things I want."  So its not all roses and peaches and cream and other things that smell and or taste good, but in adversity we find our best selves.

And so, while my friends are getting married in a little more then an hour in a surprise ceremony that I hope I don't ruin, I ponder that age old question: Is the milk still good 3 days after the best before date?  No that's not it, a valid question, but not what I'm thinking.  Well It's a little what I'm thinking, but the bigger question is where do I go from here?  I guess only time will tell...

Cheers,

JUST A LITTLE OFF THE TOP

Today was a day I have been long awaiting.  It is a day that can make or break a woman, a day that we await for anxiously, and yet tentatively, all at the same time.  Yes, it was hair appointment day.  And as I sat in the chair enjoying my complimentary scalp massage thinking "I wonder if this is good for your scalpulation" which I actually meant to think circulation, but was so relaxed I made a new word,  another thought occurred to me.  And that is this:  the base difference between men and women can be summed up in a hair cut.  That is unless the man is very metrosexual, then probably this applies to him too.  I have the good fortune of working with predominately men, and by predominately I mean there is me and two other women, both of whom could probably take any one of the guys on any given day.  Working with mostly men has many up sides, for one, the women's washroom is almost always free and clear of activity, and for another, you don't tend to get a lot of whispering behind each other's back or sneering at each other's outfits.  I am lucky if they notice I am wearing clothes at all.  Ok, I am pretty sure they'd notice if I came to work naked, but I could probably wear a potato sack and not get a second look.  On the flip side of this I have to work with all men, and men do not think like women at all.  For a man, farting at any age is funny, the louder the better, and if you should be so lucky to obtain an odour ,well that's just icing on the cake.  The jokes are more crass, and if you are not willing to be made fun of or be the butt of the odd practical joke, then its best if you avoid working with all men.  Now clearly there have been studies done on the differences between men and women for centuries by people who are much more qualified then I am, but I feel that I should wade into these murky waters anyway.  What could one more opinion/observation hurt?

The reason the hair cut got me thinking is because, as I was being massaged, and rinsed and pampered and straightened, I tried to imagine any one of the men I work with sitting in the hair dresser chair I was sitting in and I couldn't.  They'd be riggling in the chair like an ADHD child who forgot to take their ritalin for the day, and they'd be looking at their watches asking "how much longer is this going to take?"   I remember several months ago one of the guys complaining that he had to spend $25 on a hair cut and that it was an out rage.  If somebody told me they could cut my hair for $25 I'd tell them to take the butcher knives they were passing off as scissors and get the hell away from my hair. A woman's hair is a big deal.  A bad cut can be a life and death situation, it can dictate the tone for the rest of the year.  Women readers are all nodding their heads, while men are thinking "it's just hair, it will grow back."  Don't worry ladies, even if you shaved your head bald he likely wouldn't notice anyway.  I chopped 6" off my hair in the summer and my dad informed me he didn't really see a difference.  Half a foot of hair gone and it looked exactly the same to him.  It's not like I had long hair to begin with....

Now I've got off into the weeds here a bit in my hair-rantings.  I guess what I'm trying to say is women like getting their hair cut.  It makes us feel like queen's for a day (not in the pride parade kind of way, or maybe it does for some, who am I to judge), but for men, hair is just hair and if they could find a trained monkey to cut it for a banana and nickel, they'd be just as happy.

Ever wondered what 9 pumpkin pies and 7.5 dozen butter tarts looked like?

Now you don't need to wonder anymore...

Cheers,

A LESSON IN MANNERS

Am I the only one who's noticed that manners seem to be sliding out the back door like the mailman when hubby comes home unexpectedly from work?  Are we all so wrapped up in our cyber world of Blackberry Crack-berries, I'm in a Pod's and And yes I'm an Droid's that we've forgotten the basics of human interruption?   Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip (I am not 50, just  I grew up in the country with no cable).  This my friends, is what I like to call "the checkout at Walmart."  I stood in the express line for 16 items or less, which in and of itself is a joke because people heed that sign like they do the seatbelt sign on an air plane (another rant for another time).  The woman in front of me in the long line was on her phone talking about things that really didn't need to be discussed at that exact moment.  Is Walmart really the place you need to broadcast your latest hair do for all the express check out to hear?  When she made her way up to the check out she continued to blather on about which celebrity was dating whom and whether red was the it colour of fall (really??).  She never once made eye contact with, spoke to or even remotely acknowledged the  woman on the till who  was ringing her through.  Now I'm not saying she needed to spill her whole life story to this woman, but a smile and a "how are you today" would have gone a long way.  Just imagine how that clerk felt, that this woman thought so little of her as another human being, that she couldn't put her phone down for 30 seconds while she was being rung through.  And maybe the woman on the phone was a lovely person who just didn't think about what she was doing, but that my friends is the problem these days.  It seems we are all so wrapped up in ourselves and our own priorities that our fellow man is nothing more then a hinderance in our way.

I will point to another example that irks the bejeezus out of me.  When someone holds a door open for you, in any capacity, how fracking hard is it to say thank you??  I can tell you that out of 10 times holding a door open, I will get the courtesy thank you about 50% of the time.  50%!  That means either 50% of people think they are so entitled that you should always hold the door for them, or they are just so absorbed in their own little world that they don't even notice.  I'm actually thinking it could be a little of column a and a little of column b in this scenario.  It boils my blood when it happens, but what can you do?  You can't say "hey get back here so I can let this door slam in your face!"  Well you could, but I'm not sure you'd get the desired result.   I have taken the typically Canadian passive aggressive attitude to deal with this and started muttering "you're welcome" in a haughty tone under my breath.  One day I might get the courage to say it at a decibel that is loud enough to be heard by more then just dogs, but that would make me as rude as they are.  To brazenly call them out in such a public way.  So instead I keep holding doors and muttering under my breath like I have a multiple personality thing going on.

I'd like to propose this to blog readers:  Remember, when you're out in public, you're not the only one there.  Hold a door, say thank you, move over to let the car merge onto the highway.  Try smiling at a stranger, but not in a creepy way.  Say 'hello,' again, don't do a creepy smile and say hello, that's not going to get the desired result either.  My point is, if we all just did even one nice deed a day for each other, that shows we acknowledge there is more to this crazy world then just ourselves and our agenda's, then maybe we'd all be happier and get along that much better.   It might even breed understanding and tolerance and who doesn't want that?  So lets all give it a try, all 123 of you who've taken the time to read my rants and raves.  It has to start somewhere so why not with us?

Cheers,

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

Do you ever find yourself at the end of the day wondering what to have for dinner?  Well I do.   Sometimes I just lack the total and utter capability to come up with some kind of edible and nutritional meal.  I only add nutritional because anyone can scoop out 4 cups of ice cream and cover it with chocolate sauce, but lets be hones, that's sugar buzz isn't going to take you anywhere good.   The cycle always starts the same.  I come home, look in the fridge, and in spite of the fact that the fridge is full of food, I can not find one thing that seems worth my time.  Step two, check the pantry.  There's pasta and some tuna in cans, but really nothing I can work with.  So back to the fridge,  just incase there's something else in there that I missed the first time.  And so the dance goes on until finally I come up with some half baked solution for dinner, and I don't mean half baked as in I'm eating only partially cooked meals, I mean the outcome is usually questionable in its fundamentals, at best.

Recently I've been trying to be proactive in meal planning this is largely because I am just two lazy to come up with something on a nightly basis.   It works, but I find I spend all my time cooking on weekends so that I can eat during the week.  I feel like a squirrel trying to stash away nuts for the harsh winter ahead sometimes.  Unfortunately for me the harsh winter is only 5 days long and then I'm back to stashing nuts.

Which begs the question, with all the technology we have and everything we have made, why have we  not invented appliances that can cook for us.  Some kind of bluetooth, blackberry, mac apple hybrid that can whip up a batch of chill or fully roasted leg of lamb complete with salad and veggies?  Somebody needs to be getting on this.  I mean, just think about it.  It's not secret that obesity is a huge epidemic, and that we have become a fast food nation, but if you could simply say the word and have a healthy home cooked meal ready and waiting for you at home then maybe some of that unhealthy convenience eating could be curbed.  People I am on the verge of a brilliant plan, but don't have the means to produce it!  So if there happens to be any genius's out there reading this, please, please I beg of you to come up with this technology.  I'm tired of being chained to my kitchen appliances on Sunday.  I'd also like to ask for a cut of the profits, I mean it was my idea after all...

Well that's all for today.  Bon appetite!

 PS I'm leaving the cheers about because I think it would be redundant with the bon appetite.