Today is the last day before I begin a 3 day raw food cleanse, which does not mean I'm spending the next 3 days throwing out raw food from my fridge. What it means is, for the next three days, I will be eating nothing but raw food. Not only does it mean eating raw, but it means eating raw food that will clean me out, hopefully, in a non-violent fashion.
Today I had to make a pilgrimage to the grocery store in order to purchase the required list of food for the cleanse. If you've been reading my blog, then you'll know I have some serious issues surrounding groceries. Today was no exception. To top it off I wasn't just shopping for my traditional list of food, which I've committed to memory, I was shopping for things like extra virgin coconut oil, chia seeds and kombucha. One of the articles on my list was tahini. It always seems to me that when grocery shopping for something new, there is always one item on your list that seems to be hidden, and try as you might, you'll circle the store, checking every aisle you can think of that might contain that missing ingredient, and you will not find it. Today it was very nearly the almond milk, but in the end it was the tahini. Such a simple little bottle of sesame paste was oh so illusive. I checked everywhere I could think of that might be aisle that contained the tahini, I even checked the pet food aisle, just in case. If there was tahini in the Zehr's in Orangeville, it was well hidden. Bravo I say to the staff at said grocery store, you have succeeded. Rest assured, I had to go to the whole foods store to get the kombucha (which is pronounced kombu-cha, not kombuka as the friendly organic granola vegan eating hippy store clerk so snottily informed me) and it was here that I found the tahini.
So after tonight I'll be eating raw food till Wednesday night. I'm a little afraid. First of all I have to learn how to de-vein kale. I didn't even know leafy greens had veins, and now I have to learn how to remove them. Also, typically my mornings involve sleeping until I absolutely have to get up and taking a package of instant oatmeal to work for breakfast. Tomorrow I have to make a smoothie. This is going to mean getting up to give myself enough time to make the smoothie! That's got to be at least 10 minutes of sleep I'm sacrificing. Tonight, after I de-vein the kale, I'm making a salad for lunch with a ginger apple cider dressing. There's going to be cutting and slicing of vegetables and finding an appropriate container with which to transport all the kale and veggies and the ginger and apple cider dressing which I am still yet to make.
So for the next 3 days my blogs will revolve around my raw cleanse progress. In advance, there's a chance I might be a touch cranky over the next few days, so I will apologize now. Until tomorrow...
Cheers,
Sunday, 14 October 2012
Saturday, 13 October 2012
I REALLY SHOULD HAVE WORN STRETCHIER PANTS
Today was the celebratory day of shopping for my self and a friend (who I now know is an avid reader of my blogs ; P) who completed a loose 10lbs in one month challenge. She succeeded, I came up 4.5lbs short. The deadline for the weigh in was last Wednesday and, thanks to over consumption of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, bread and an orgy of pies, I didn't exactly hit the target. I thought I'd generously give myself an extension to Friday, but due to some serious water retention from forces beyond my control, the scale was not my friend. Will check again next week, but will have a blow torch handy if the scale is not in my favour.
In light of my somewhat dismal failure at the weight loss challenge, which was my idea by the way, I said I was not going to buy anything other then a new sports bra. Do you know what it's like for a woman to be in a mall full of clothes and say "I'm just looking?" It's like trying to hold back the sea, and the sea, she's very angry. Before I knew it i was standing in a change room with what seemed like a rack full of clothes, like I just said "bring me all the clothes, I will wear them!!" Actually it was two shirts and one dress, but still...
My typical experience with shopping has been this: If you have money and you want to find new clothes, there is nothing but hideous things that don't fit and make you look like you squoze yourself into sausage casing. If you have no money and you don't need to buy anything, you'll find an entire wardrobe that is perfect. My other typical experience with shopping is that I hate the mirrors in the mall. Is it the lighting, the angle of the mirror? I know I didn't leave the house looking like bozo the clown after a night of binge drinking and a pizza eating contest, why do I look like that now? Today, as any other day when I was "just looking," the shopping mall stars aligned. The store mirrors made me look fantastic, the clothes didn't look like I was trying to squeeze myself into a child's size and there were oh so many wonderful shirts, dresses & jackets to choose from. So I shopped. I did show some restraint, but still I flexed my plastic muscle a little bit more then I would have liked to. But I have to admit, it felt pretty damned good to be comfortable in my skin and wearing clothes that didn't make me look like a dump truck, so even though I splurged more then I should have, I don't regret it.
What I will regret is the feeding frenzy that happened post shopping spree. Both my friend and I have been working hard, and eating clean (with the exception of the Thanksgiving weekend) and so when we got to the restaurant, in spite of my best intentions, the food monster in me was unleashed. There was poutine, and nachos, and cheesy garlic bread and wings and some kind of mexican tuna concoction. Our whole table was covered in plates of food. There was enough for another 4 people to have joined us. The servers kept trying to clear the plates even before we had emptied them. I think its because the other patrons were starting to get uncomfortable. And we ate as though we had never had food before, and after 4 weeks of eating very healthy, it was almost like I had never had food like that before. I am so full it's disgusting. I just got home, I can't believe my pants didn't explode on the ride back from the city. Fortunately for me, I'm starting a 3 day raw cleanse on Monday and boy do I have something to cleanse now.
Here's to hoping your Saturday night is as full and robust as mine was!
Cheers,
In light of my somewhat dismal failure at the weight loss challenge, which was my idea by the way, I said I was not going to buy anything other then a new sports bra. Do you know what it's like for a woman to be in a mall full of clothes and say "I'm just looking?" It's like trying to hold back the sea, and the sea, she's very angry. Before I knew it i was standing in a change room with what seemed like a rack full of clothes, like I just said "bring me all the clothes, I will wear them!!" Actually it was two shirts and one dress, but still...
My typical experience with shopping has been this: If you have money and you want to find new clothes, there is nothing but hideous things that don't fit and make you look like you squoze yourself into sausage casing. If you have no money and you don't need to buy anything, you'll find an entire wardrobe that is perfect. My other typical experience with shopping is that I hate the mirrors in the mall. Is it the lighting, the angle of the mirror? I know I didn't leave the house looking like bozo the clown after a night of binge drinking and a pizza eating contest, why do I look like that now? Today, as any other day when I was "just looking," the shopping mall stars aligned. The store mirrors made me look fantastic, the clothes didn't look like I was trying to squeeze myself into a child's size and there were oh so many wonderful shirts, dresses & jackets to choose from. So I shopped. I did show some restraint, but still I flexed my plastic muscle a little bit more then I would have liked to. But I have to admit, it felt pretty damned good to be comfortable in my skin and wearing clothes that didn't make me look like a dump truck, so even though I splurged more then I should have, I don't regret it.
What I will regret is the feeding frenzy that happened post shopping spree. Both my friend and I have been working hard, and eating clean (with the exception of the Thanksgiving weekend) and so when we got to the restaurant, in spite of my best intentions, the food monster in me was unleashed. There was poutine, and nachos, and cheesy garlic bread and wings and some kind of mexican tuna concoction. Our whole table was covered in plates of food. There was enough for another 4 people to have joined us. The servers kept trying to clear the plates even before we had emptied them. I think its because the other patrons were starting to get uncomfortable. And we ate as though we had never had food before, and after 4 weeks of eating very healthy, it was almost like I had never had food like that before. I am so full it's disgusting. I just got home, I can't believe my pants didn't explode on the ride back from the city. Fortunately for me, I'm starting a 3 day raw cleanse on Monday and boy do I have something to cleanse now.
Here's to hoping your Saturday night is as full and robust as mine was!
Cheers,
Friday, 12 October 2012
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING!?!?!
To paraphrase the classic Sam Cooke song "another (Friday) night and I ain't got no body." Laundry is done, so I don't even have that to fall back on. For some ridiculous reason I agreed to work tomorrow so I'm not even able to sit back and enjoy a bottle of wine...
No, I'm home, flipping through the channels and I can't help but notice the complete downward spiral of what passes for entertainment these days. Shows about groups of drunk people with lax morals living in a house by a beach, drinking and screwing as much as they can. Shows about hillbillies of any variety, living in a swamp, participating in child beauty pageants, buying storage units. Shows about women with no self worth who need to be told that the married man they've been seeing for years isn't going to leave his wife for them.... the list just goes on and on. I'm not preaching from a pedestal either, so don't think I'm looking down my nose at anyone who watches these shows. I have fallen victim many times to the vacuous television programming that seems to be lurking on each station.
The thing is, people love smutt don't we? If there's a chance of seeing someone fall flat on their face, both literally and figuratively, in a totally humiliating and public forum, we're all for it. Let's put a bunch of dudes on a show all vying for the attention of one woman, while she judges them and then dismisses them like an article of clothing. Then we'll watch them fight, cry and plead for her. That's entertainment!
Is it just that all the good ideas have been done, or have we just lowered our standards to such a base level that we are thrilled to watch this trash? It's difficult to say really. I've been addicted to Jersey Shore for the last 5 seasons, and I am not proud of it. It's not something I share lightly, but I can't get enough of watching these self centred, egotistical morons parade around drunk and act like apes. Its just good shit.
Today someone informed me that there is a show, which I have also learned has recently been cancelled, called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and that I must watch it. It's hilariously about an obese mother who's daughter participates in child beauty pageants (which is a whole other beast in and of itself) and all this takes place in the deep south where having teeth is considered a measure of high standing. My first thought was "I have got to see that" my second thought was why? What happened to the clever shows like Arrested Development? Why do they not thrive like this base classless garbage we can't seem to get enough of? It's like the McDonald's of the TV world, full of nothing but empty calories that keep us longing for more.
I guess there's nothing we can do but push onward, wading though mindless shows that make us feel better about our small existence on this big blue planet. And so to that, I am about to hit play on the PVR for the latest episode of Jersey Shore.
Cheers,
Thursday, 11 October 2012
A DAY TO REMEMBER
Today is the first international Day of the Girl and I didn't even know that was a thing. It seems that it is somewhat connected to the girl who was shot and killed by the Taliban in Pakistan. I have had a busy day and haven't had a chance to read up on all the details of the Day of the Girl.
It seems to me like this is long overdue, and the fact that it took a girl activist being shot, by the taliban no less, to make this happen is quite a sad state of affairs. Its 2012 and yet it seems all around us the rights of women and girls are taking a backward slide in society. Now I hate to go all Gloria Steinem on everyone, but feminism is not parading around on a music video in a bra and underwear shouting "girl power." In the US we have Mitt Romney and his cronies touting "legitimate rape" as being something that "a woman's body has a way of handling so that she won't get pregnant" while in other states the abortion laws are being overturned left right and centre. Even in Canada, some politicians seek to open the debate about when life begins and protecting the fetus. There have been significant cut backs in women's health and services all across the board. It seems the politicians of North America feel that a woman's body is not hers to decide what should be done to it. Isn't that the very reason we sent soldiers to die in countries like Afghanistan and Iraq? Aren't those the kinds of freedoms that people died for? Soon they'll be telling us we aren't people again and we will have to give back the right to vote or own land.
Maybe that's a little bit too pessimistic, but I think we have become complacent in the last 30 years. Feminism was never about being able to dress a certain way. What would our bra burning feminist sisters of the 60's say? Sure there's been some major improvements, but we are by no means equal yet. Men still dominate the board room & the political arena, and apparently they think we should all just be quiet and do as we're told.
On this, the first international Day of the Girl, I would encourage you to think about what feminism means to you, and if you don't think you're a feminist then look it up. You might be surprised to find that the stereo type of tattooed lesbians with shaved heads, is not actually what being a feminist is. I encourage you to think about what issues are really at stake for you, your mother, sisters, and daughters...
I know, this one was a little intense, but deservedly so. Wishing you a happy and healthy Day of the Girl,
Cheers,
It seems to me like this is long overdue, and the fact that it took a girl activist being shot, by the taliban no less, to make this happen is quite a sad state of affairs. Its 2012 and yet it seems all around us the rights of women and girls are taking a backward slide in society. Now I hate to go all Gloria Steinem on everyone, but feminism is not parading around on a music video in a bra and underwear shouting "girl power." In the US we have Mitt Romney and his cronies touting "legitimate rape" as being something that "a woman's body has a way of handling so that she won't get pregnant" while in other states the abortion laws are being overturned left right and centre. Even in Canada, some politicians seek to open the debate about when life begins and protecting the fetus. There have been significant cut backs in women's health and services all across the board. It seems the politicians of North America feel that a woman's body is not hers to decide what should be done to it. Isn't that the very reason we sent soldiers to die in countries like Afghanistan and Iraq? Aren't those the kinds of freedoms that people died for? Soon they'll be telling us we aren't people again and we will have to give back the right to vote or own land.
Maybe that's a little bit too pessimistic, but I think we have become complacent in the last 30 years. Feminism was never about being able to dress a certain way. What would our bra burning feminist sisters of the 60's say? Sure there's been some major improvements, but we are by no means equal yet. Men still dominate the board room & the political arena, and apparently they think we should all just be quiet and do as we're told.
On this, the first international Day of the Girl, I would encourage you to think about what feminism means to you, and if you don't think you're a feminist then look it up. You might be surprised to find that the stereo type of tattooed lesbians with shaved heads, is not actually what being a feminist is. I encourage you to think about what issues are really at stake for you, your mother, sisters, and daughters...
I know, this one was a little intense, but deservedly so. Wishing you a happy and healthy Day of the Girl,
Cheers,
Wednesday, 10 October 2012
I DON'T REALLY LIKE GRAPE JUICE UNLESS ITS BEEN FERMENTED...
Ahoy hoy good readers,
I really don't have one particular subject worth devoting the entirety of this blank screen too, so I'm going to share with you a few random thoughts, observances and/or musings. Technically, I guess a musing would be the same as a thought, only fancier...
Has anyone been to the deodorant isle lately? What is going on in there? I mean at one point did shower fresh or baby powder become not enough of an option for our armpits? Now they've got pomegranate passion, vanilla swirl, mango tango, these sounds more like something you'd order at a smoothie bar then something you'd roll under your pits! I even saw one called red silk. What the hell does red silk smell like? I could maybe even forgive just plain old silk because I'm sure silk has its own smell, but to specifically define the scent of red silk? Well that, my friends, is just arrogant. I know the manufacturer is just trying to increase their monthly yields, but I think we have come as far as we can with deodorant and maybe its time to turn out attention to more pressing matters like finding the cure for diabetes or something... I'm just saying, a lot of time and money probably went into the market research as well as the scientific process, of making a deodorant that makes you're underarm shimmer like a pearl and smell like fresh lavender in the fields of France... Could have been better spent is all.
Plastic surgery has always seemed like and odd choice to me. Has anyone noticed that after several face lifts and lip injections they all start to look the same. And you know who they look like? They look like the hippy muppet from the muppet show, the one with huge lips. Why the hell does anyone need lips that big anyway, what are you planning on doing with those, using them as a raft for the coming of the flood? Look we all have hang ups, but if you're whole self worth is tied up in how you look then something is not right people. Beauty is really only skin deep. Have you ever seen someone and thought "wow, he/she is really good looking?" and then they open their mouth and turn out to be a racist idiot and all of sudden you don't think they're so goo looking... That's what its all about. Work on the inside, forget about the outside, it's nothing a little vanilla swirl deodorant can't improve. And the beauty about vanilla swirl deodorant is, chances are if you use it you won't wake up with a nipple that's out of line with the other nipple.
That might be all the time we have for tonight's session. If you're looking for some good, healthy and somewhat gluten free recipes I suggest the following link. I've got tonnes of great ideas off of it.
THE GRACIOUS PANTRY
Enjoy & cheers,
I really don't have one particular subject worth devoting the entirety of this blank screen too, so I'm going to share with you a few random thoughts, observances and/or musings. Technically, I guess a musing would be the same as a thought, only fancier...
Has anyone been to the deodorant isle lately? What is going on in there? I mean at one point did shower fresh or baby powder become not enough of an option for our armpits? Now they've got pomegranate passion, vanilla swirl, mango tango, these sounds more like something you'd order at a smoothie bar then something you'd roll under your pits! I even saw one called red silk. What the hell does red silk smell like? I could maybe even forgive just plain old silk because I'm sure silk has its own smell, but to specifically define the scent of red silk? Well that, my friends, is just arrogant. I know the manufacturer is just trying to increase their monthly yields, but I think we have come as far as we can with deodorant and maybe its time to turn out attention to more pressing matters like finding the cure for diabetes or something... I'm just saying, a lot of time and money probably went into the market research as well as the scientific process, of making a deodorant that makes you're underarm shimmer like a pearl and smell like fresh lavender in the fields of France... Could have been better spent is all.
Plastic surgery has always seemed like and odd choice to me. Has anyone noticed that after several face lifts and lip injections they all start to look the same. And you know who they look like? They look like the hippy muppet from the muppet show, the one with huge lips. Why the hell does anyone need lips that big anyway, what are you planning on doing with those, using them as a raft for the coming of the flood? Look we all have hang ups, but if you're whole self worth is tied up in how you look then something is not right people. Beauty is really only skin deep. Have you ever seen someone and thought "wow, he/she is really good looking?" and then they open their mouth and turn out to be a racist idiot and all of sudden you don't think they're so goo looking... That's what its all about. Work on the inside, forget about the outside, it's nothing a little vanilla swirl deodorant can't improve. And the beauty about vanilla swirl deodorant is, chances are if you use it you won't wake up with a nipple that's out of line with the other nipple.
That might be all the time we have for tonight's session. If you're looking for some good, healthy and somewhat gluten free recipes I suggest the following link. I've got tonnes of great ideas off of it.
THE GRACIOUS PANTRY
Enjoy & cheers,
Tuesday, 9 October 2012
AND ANOTHER THING...
Just discovered several fun new features to add to my blog. You will now notice a poll on the left of your screen. Please feel free to participate so I can get to know my reading audience better.
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| Vote in the poll or I will be shamed forever |
WELL AS YOU CAN SEE THERE'S BEEN SOME CHANGES
Alright, so I sold out to the man and decided to let advertisers onto my blog. Does this make me any worse the the Black Eyed Peas or Bob Dylan or any of the rest of my fellow sell outs chasing the all mighty dollar? I am still the same person, my principles and beliefs have not changed, I just think if I can capitalize on my crazy then why the heck not? I'd be crazy not to!
Now I see there's some fantastical adds for magic weight loss solutions and one for some kind of t-shirt. I can't speak for the t-shirt adds, but I can speak for the fantastical weight loss. I don't know if I'm in some kind of violation of the blogger-advertiser code, but I feel that I must speak out. There is no magic pill, no special formulized diet or at home work out in this world that is going to make you drop 50lbs in 3 months, and if there is, it's not safe, it's not healthy and it sure as hell isn't going to last. As someone who's hard fought the war on the waste line and won some battles of the bulge, but tragically lost many others, I can tell you one thing for sure. You didn't gain that weight in a fortnight (fancy english speak for 2 weeks) and you aren't going to lose it in a fortnight either. It takes time and effort and a total change in lifestyle. I have tried everything, starvation, pills, insane work out routines that made me feel so out of shape and so much worse about myself that I quit after the first couple of sessions. Trust me, there is no quick fix miracle. If there were we'd all be skinny.
All I can tell you is this, don't beat yourself up and give up, if after a month you've only lost 2lbs. That's a 2lb victory in the battle. Set small goals for yourself and give yourself time to achieve them. Don't decide in April you're going to drop 15lbs by May and then hate yourself when it doesn't happen. That kind of stress only adds to the problem and I 100% guarantee it makes it harder for your body to loose weight. I've touched on this before, don't go by a number on the scale, it's about how you feel, not what the number is. What you think you should way is not always what your body wants to weigh. Listen to your body, and be honest, just because you weight 120 when you were 15, by no means should you weigh that when you're into your 30's. Here's another helpful hint, the BMI is generally regarded by nutritional experts as a load of crap. So don't go around thinking that because you're 5' 10 and 30 (oops 31 now) and female that you have to weigh some set number that a made up scale that doesn't account for bone density, genetic predispositions or the general build of your body, calculated out.
If you want my advice this is what it is: The most success I've ever had in weight loss is eating healthy foods that were grown in the ground and not manufacture in the Frito Lays factory. Foods whose ingredients I actually can pronounce and identify. And of, course exercise. Whether it's going for a 30 minute brisk walk every night, or yoga or Zumba or krav maya, find something you like to do (because if you hate it, you'll get discouraged and quit) and stick with it.
Remember it's the small victories. And if you fall off the food wagon, or in my case, if you eat the food wagon, don't give up. Get back on!!
Cheers,
(Hopefully I wont' loose my sponsorship over this one )
Now I see there's some fantastical adds for magic weight loss solutions and one for some kind of t-shirt. I can't speak for the t-shirt adds, but I can speak for the fantastical weight loss. I don't know if I'm in some kind of violation of the blogger-advertiser code, but I feel that I must speak out. There is no magic pill, no special formulized diet or at home work out in this world that is going to make you drop 50lbs in 3 months, and if there is, it's not safe, it's not healthy and it sure as hell isn't going to last. As someone who's hard fought the war on the waste line and won some battles of the bulge, but tragically lost many others, I can tell you one thing for sure. You didn't gain that weight in a fortnight (fancy english speak for 2 weeks) and you aren't going to lose it in a fortnight either. It takes time and effort and a total change in lifestyle. I have tried everything, starvation, pills, insane work out routines that made me feel so out of shape and so much worse about myself that I quit after the first couple of sessions. Trust me, there is no quick fix miracle. If there were we'd all be skinny.
All I can tell you is this, don't beat yourself up and give up, if after a month you've only lost 2lbs. That's a 2lb victory in the battle. Set small goals for yourself and give yourself time to achieve them. Don't decide in April you're going to drop 15lbs by May and then hate yourself when it doesn't happen. That kind of stress only adds to the problem and I 100% guarantee it makes it harder for your body to loose weight. I've touched on this before, don't go by a number on the scale, it's about how you feel, not what the number is. What you think you should way is not always what your body wants to weigh. Listen to your body, and be honest, just because you weight 120 when you were 15, by no means should you weigh that when you're into your 30's. Here's another helpful hint, the BMI is generally regarded by nutritional experts as a load of crap. So don't go around thinking that because you're 5' 10 and 30 (oops 31 now) and female that you have to weigh some set number that a made up scale that doesn't account for bone density, genetic predispositions or the general build of your body, calculated out.
If you want my advice this is what it is: The most success I've ever had in weight loss is eating healthy foods that were grown in the ground and not manufacture in the Frito Lays factory. Foods whose ingredients I actually can pronounce and identify. And of, course exercise. Whether it's going for a 30 minute brisk walk every night, or yoga or Zumba or krav maya, find something you like to do (because if you hate it, you'll get discouraged and quit) and stick with it.
Remember it's the small victories. And if you fall off the food wagon, or in my case, if you eat the food wagon, don't give up. Get back on!!
Cheers,
(Hopefully I wont' loose my sponsorship over this one )
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