Well once again I've been stymied by the powers that be at the satellite TV company. Several weeks ago I lost the ability to order pay per view movies off my satellite receiver using the remote. I keep getting an error message that says the phone line must be connected to the receiver in order for the purchase to be made. I double checked the phone line, even went so far as to go get a phone from upstairs, or the main land as I like to call it, and plug it into the phone line down here just to make sure. We had dial tone, which to me, is a good sign that the phone line is working.
As I said, the trouble first started several weeks ago, but I have been busy and its never been a real issue. Now on the first day of flurries in the air, on the verge of winter, or what I like to call, hibernation, I am ready to deal with the problem in hopes of getting it corrected. I called at 7pm because The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel was starting at 8 and I finished my chores for tonight, even tackled some of the chores for tomorrow, and I felt I needed a reward. Apparently it was ludicrous to expect that there would be any kind of resolution in an hour. First I had to do the dance of a thousand buttons just to get to speak to a real live person. Then I entered the 'hold' queue where upon I got to listen to the phone companies theme song for about 15 minutes, and will now permanently have it stuck in my brain, until Jim took me out of queue limbo. Jim made several obvious suggestions, including such doozies as "have you checked to see if the phone line is plugged in?" Why, no Jim, that had NEVER occurred to me because I am a simpleton who is new to the world of electronics and THINKING! Next he asked me if I had tried testing the line with a phone. Maybe that's a stretch for some people, but my job is some what technical and requires a certain degree of trouble shooting, so yes, I had tried that too. Next Jim informs me that I need to perform a test on the phone line, but I can not be on the phone while I perform the test. He waited to tell me that after he gave me the directions on where to find the test on the menu bar and which selection to push to run the test. Too little to late Jim! If you don't want me to push the button, then you need to tell me ahead of time! We aborted the botched test and he informed me that he'd call me back in 5-10 minutes after I'd had time to run the test on unobstructed phone lines. Nearly 30 minutes later, Jim was a no show. So I called back again, went through the same button pushing bonanza, hummed along to the song and then I got through to Emily. Now I have to start all over and explain everything to her and answer the same mundane questions, but this time I was smart! I called from my cell phone so the phone line was not tied up for the "test." While I'm on the cell phone with Emily, performing the test, guess who calls me on my home phone line?? Jim! Thus ruining the phone line test that I was performing for the 2nd time. Jim tells me he thinks I need a new receiver, but he'll have to call me back in 30 minutes to an hour. What? I hang up the phone from both Jim and Emily and decide to perform the test one last time. The test, incidentally, does not seem to do anything. It sits on a screen that says "test" for 5 minutes and then flips back to the last channel I was watching, giving me no test results whatsoever. 20 minutes pass, and Jim does call back, if only to inform me he'll call me back in another 30 minutes. Jim is a very nervous sounding fellow and its possible I've frightened him in to making regular status update calls. I would not be surprised if Jim called me again tomorrow, just to see if I had a good nights sleep.
Jim has just called again to inform me that they will in fact be sending me a new receiver. The crux of the new receiver is this: There are about 7 movies I've ordered and recorded with my PVR, but have not yet watched. All these movies will be gone when the new receiver comes. This can mean only one thing. Pyjama Movie day on Sunday, woot woot!
Cheers!
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