PEACE ON EARTH, GOOD WILL TOWARD MAN

I have looked back on my many blogs over the last few months, and I can't help but notice there is a lot of ranting on here.  Rants about online dating, rants about food, rants about money, the list goes on and on.  Today I am going to share a little bit of light in this doom and gloom world I seem to be living in.

This morning, after an on-going battle with my work computer, I decided it was time to go to Tim Horton's for a tea to help calm myself down.  I waited in the drive thru line, like I do every day, and found myself staring at the burgundy Toyota 4 Runner in front of me with the funny sounding license plate (it spelled pee).  When I finally got to the window to pay for my tea, the Tim Hortons clerk informed me that the lady in front of me, in the pee Toyota, had bought my tea for me.  I was flabbergasted.  I've heard of this happening before, a sort of pay it forward movement, but never had it happened to me.  I felt a plethora of emotions which ranged from joy to a restored faith in the human race.

You see, with the Christmas season upon us, I have noticed even more the self-centered behaviour of people out and about shopping.  People who steel the parking spot you've been waiting to get in, people who refuse to yield to you even if you have the right of way,  I even had one woman in a mini-van, who had blocked my exit, give me a dirty look, when there were 12 other exits she could have come in.  I drive a large vehicle, it doesn't turn on a dime!  So just when I was starting to loose faith in the human race all together, just when I began to hope that Nostradamus' (incidentally, I just spelled Nostradamus wrong, but my spellchecker corrected it.  That seems odd that my Mac spellchecker would know Nostradamus.)   end of the world prediction was accurate (not really, for god's sake, I don't want to die in Texas), someone came along and renewed my faith in people.

And now, with the weight of this renewal on my shoulders, as the Beach Boys would say, I must keep the good vibrations going.  So tomorrow I will buy someone's coffee, and with any luck, in turn, they will buy someone else a coffee and so on and so on.  It's a small gesture, but it has ripple effect potential, and even if for only the faintest moment, we find ourselves feeling a little closer to our fellow man, we will all be better for it.  Now, I only hope the person I buy coffee for tomorrow isn't on a breakfast run for a construction crew.

Cheers,

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??

Alright people,

It's been a long time and I have a whole lot of crazy that's recently been bottled up.   To add fuel to that fire,  I'm two glasses of red wine in and I'm trapped at home because of a snow storm, instead of at a surprise birthday party for a friend and I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Long sigh....... Where to start....  For the last couple of weeks I've been submerging myself in the wonderful world of online dating yet again.  The holidays are approaching and I am feeling desperate and extra alone as I often do at this time of year.  Add to that, a slue of holiday events designed for couples, and the insecurity just mounts.  On top of that, a friend, who is the same age as me and, has long been on the single boat with me, has just met a wonderful guy and things are going well.  I am very happy for her, god knows she's had her fill of idiots.  Nevertheless, I find myself, ironically, alone at being alone, and it has pushed the panic button into nuclear meltdown mode.

So I started messaging a few people which quickly dwindled to two people, neither of which was ideal.  The first is a gentlemen close to my age who has a decent job and we seem to have common interest.  The down side is he is random with his messages, maybe 2-3 days before he responds, which leads me to believe is he not really that interested in anything real.  He made no attempt to ask me out or ask for my phone number, and when I finally did give him my cell so we could text, he simply said "sure I'll text you" and still there is no text.  If you really aren't that into it, don't string someone along.  Nobody wants to have their time wasted.

Which leads me to gentleman number two, or as I am now calling him, the worst date I ever had.  It was a gamble and I knew that going in.  He is a 24 year old smoker.  I was not crazy about the large age difference, and I was even less crazy about the smoking.  I figured it was worth a date, you never know.  It's like trying on a shirt at the store that you think is not your style and you'd never wear, but you try it anyway just to see.  Sometimes the shirt turns out to be unexpectedly perfect.  Other times you put it on and it turns out to be a straightjacket that's made out of steel wool.   As you can imagine from the tone of this blog, the latter was the result of my "outside the box" dating.

It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so seemingly normal online.  They can message back and forth and say the right things to make them seem so totally and utterly average, with an average job, average lifestyle and interests that compliment yours.  Then you meet them and its as though the person you've been talking too has been abducted and replaced by some clone from opposite world!  My 24 year old smoker turned out to be practically homeless.  I am not exaggerating.  He lives in boarding house with 6-8 other men at any given time.  He spent the majority of the date asking me how he could get a job with the company I work for and hoping he could use me as an in!  He actually couldn't even afford to buy a coffee, and I can only assume by his bodily odours, that the shower and soap situation at the boarding house was non-existent.  Not to mention his total and utter lack of social skills.

Now look it, don't get all high and mighty that I am picking on someone who is less fortunate them me. I didn't grow up a millionaire, my family had some major trials to over come when my dad lost his job and we had to rely on my mom's income while my dad went back to school.  These were not easy times and I have a great deal of sympathy for those who are struggling, especially in these difficult times.  I am grateful for what I have and because I have it I donate a lot of my time and my money to helping those who are in need.

The issue here is the dishonesty this person displayed blatantly in our messages back and forth.  So much so that I drove nearly an hour to meet him only to discover he had ulterior motives and totally misrepresented himself.  As if the date wasn't bad enough, when I got home he tried to message me again as though he thought there was nothing wrong with how things went.  When I politely told him that I wished him the best of luck with his career and to "take care."  He responded with "Take care, are you trying to say something by that?"  Well, no shit Sherlock!!!  Please re-evaluate your behaviour!

Now, as if that's not bad enough, tonight I got home to find a message waiting for me from a new guy.  I guy I had seen before and who, once again, seemed nice and normal and possibly a decent potential.  It quickly went of the rails when it became clear he was looking for someone to dominate him in a sexual manner.  There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, in my profile to suggest that I am looking to rein-act any scenes from 50 Shades of Grey in reversed role.  

It frightens me to no end that these are the guys I keep meeting.  Is it a reflection of me? Do I put out some kind of crazy signal, like the bat signal?  Is it just some giant test that I have to go through in order to meet the right person? Or worse, is this all that's left?

I don't know the answer, and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep looking for it.  Here is to hoping that 2013 will bring with it a cleansing of the crazies.

By the way, Rob Ford is a dirt bag idiot and should never have been elected mayor.  Sorry, I'm watching the news and I'm all fired up now...

Cheers,

DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE CHICKEN CROSSING THE ROAD?

Well it has been a few days, as I predicted, since my last post.   It's been a somewhat eventful few days, and yet in spite of that, I find myself in a perplexing situation with very little to say.  It's not a situation I am accustomed to as many who know me would attest.

Saturday I attended a raw food workshop then hustled down the road to make it home in time to drop of food, grab a change of clothes and hurtle down the highway to the work Christmas party, new dress in tow.  The party was great, and I learned that dresses with sequins on them can cause armpit sequin-rash when dancing.

Last night I awoke in the onslaught of the man cold, my chest constricted, head pounding and nasal passages all but blocked.  This afternoon I am feeling that I am over the worst of it, and as I suspected, it was not the death sentence I was lead to believe.  Nevertheless, I could have done without it.  I missed my kick-boxing class last night and my trainer session at the gym tonight because of it.  If you're sick, just stay home people!  It's nice to share with your co-workers, but some things should be kept to ourselves.

I am proud to report that 98% of my Christmas shopping is done and 60% of the cookie dough/pastry has been made and frozen.  Things are seriously looking up for the Christmas rush.

You see, extremely unentertaining.  I doubt this blog was even necessary, but I wanted to post something so you knew I was still alive, and had not totally succumb to the man cold after all.

Here's hoping a more interesting calamity is soon to come may way.

FYI, the lemon cookies one the cookie poll and once I'm well enough to not be contagious, they will be the next cookie dough to be made, and I promise, I will post pictures and a few recipes.

Cheers,

THE MAN COLD

It is November, the beginning of the season of illness.  So far the flu has circulated the office and now the cold is slowly making its way through too.  I have been praying to the health and wellness gods to dodge that bullet, what with the intensely busy weekend I have coming up, I genuinely can not afford to be ill.  Sadly, Tuesday morning I awoke with a tickle in my throat and mildly stuffy sinuses.  This, I have been assured, is only the beginning.  Each morning has gotten progressively worse until tonight, when I feel like I could stick my toothbrush down my throat and scratch, it's so itchy.  Oh won't I be a site to see on Saturday at the Christmas party in my new black cocktail dress and heals with runny eyes, and a nose to match.  At least I can hope for sexy scratchy voice between fits of coughing.

My only hope is that it really isn't all that bad.  You see so far the only people I know who have survived the cold are men.   For many years now my friends and I have noted how the Man Cold is much more severe then the cold that anyone else gets.  Even as the very same virus circulates through the house, somehow when the men get it, it takes on new strength.  It becomes akin to the black plague in combination with small pox.  No one in the history of the world has ever suffered as deeply as the man under the influence of the Man Cold.  Now I'm an equal opportunist, and I can assure you that this phenomenon is not limited to the cold.  It stretches from the man flu, to the man fever, to the man headache.  It even reaches as far into the psyche as the man paper cut.  No one will ever know the agony that each of these inflictions can affect on a man.

Well that's not entirely true is it though?  I mean there is a silent victim here, and that is the women who live with the infirm or wounded.  Suddenly, these once invincible Herculean men (in their own minds) become weak and snively and act as though they've reverted into 5 year old children crying for their blankey.  Everything hurts, they can't sleep, no one understands them.  It's truly a remarkable display of pathos.

So now I sit on my couch, drinking hot water with lemon and honey to ease the scratchiness in my throat, reflecting on the very people who are forewarning me of the upcoming agony I am assured I'll experience.  The very people, who had they stayed at home and not infected everyone, and who surely claim this is the bubonic plague reincarnate.  Perhaps it won't be so bad after all...

Cheers!

BAH BAH CAMO SHEEP?

Heres a little something funny I encountered at the fair and drafted last week.  I am pressed for time, but since this was sitting in my drafts I thought I'd share it for tonight's blog.

Sheep, what will they think of next...  I am afraid he's not fooling anyone with that outfit.

One other things, please vote for the cookie poll.  It only takes a second and it's valuable information.  One lucky friend will receive a package of assorted cookies, including the most popular cookie in the poll.

Thanks!

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE, SOLD!

Do you ever have one of those grown up moments, a stark reminder that you are now an adult who is concerned with adult things?  Yesterday I was in line at the Canada Post outlet in the Shoppers Drug-mart, shipping back my broken PVR to Bell Canada (see earlier posts re technical unsupport for details) when I noticed that the Royal toilet paper was on sale.  $4.99 for a 12 pack of TP, and me without my wallet!  The first thing that came to mind when I looked over at the sign was "man, that's a steal."  When I went back to work I shared my good fortune with my co-workers.  We were all in agreement, $4.99 was an excellent bargain for Royal toilet paper.

I reflected on this experience tonight on my way to Walmart, to buy the scrubbing bubbles shower cleaner that I swear by.  It occurred to me how odd it was that this is what my life has come too.  Sales on toilet paper illicit raised eyebrows of fascination and wonder at my good luck.  How driving across town to get the shower cleaner I like is just a fact of life.  When I was 16 I never gave a second thought about the going cost of house hold cleaner/supplies.  Hell, when I was 21 I still didn't give a hoot!  I had other priorities.  I had dreams and passions and I believed I could change the world, or I believed that the world would change for me if I asked, pretty please??  My generation was going to save the whales, bring world peace, end oil pollution in the oceans all the while handing out wads of cash to everyone in our free and equal society.  We were going to use peaceful protest to change the world.  We'd write strongly worded letters to our political leaders & our media, and if that wasn't enough we'd be the political leaders and own the media.  Now, if there's a sale on Tide laundry detergent, it's enough to make my heart skip a beat.

So what happened?  Did the world beat that passion out of me?  Have a I actually become so jaded that it takes a bargain to breathe some life back into me?  I guess the reality of it is that a lot of our youthful ideals, while noble at heart, were far to big to have been accomplished in one generation.  I still believe we can get there (maybe not to the handing out wads of cash bit unfortunately).  Probably I could be doing more to help, though I have been known to write a letter or two to various politicians & media outlets.   I suppose our priorities change as we get older, and we realize that the world will not change for us just simply because we expect it to.  So we do what we can to make our lives, and the lives of those around us better, by purchasing satiny soft TP at a discount price.  

Still, I wish I could channel some of that youthful passion and optimism somedays, even if it was merely focussed on housework...  

Cheers,

DECK THE HALLS...

It's here people, the holiday season is upon us.  On Saturday I sealed up my last free weekend from now until Christmas with another event (an art show being put on by a friend, who if she had a blog for her art I could plug here).  With that last nail in the weekend coffin, I find myself on the precipice of holiday insanity.  I took advantage of the nice weather this weekend and put my Christmas decorations out (will not be plugging lights in until closer to Dec 1) and I also started my Christmas shopping.

The largest of the endeavours is looming over head.  For some years now I have felt an uncontrollable urge to bake at this time of year.  It's like a built in baking necessity mode that I can't shut off.  Last year's baking extravaganza included 4 doz butter tarts, 3 doz shortbread cookes, 3 doz molasses cookies, 4 doz chocolate chip cookies, 3 doz Caramilk chocolate cheese cake squares, 3 doz sugar cookies & 2 doz banana chocolate chip muffins.  Its an insane amount of baking, but I just can't stop myself.  Now, with every Saturday ahead of me booked for the foreseeable, I find myself starting to plan for the inevitable mountain of baking that lies ahead of me.  I have so far established the list for this years baking, which differs only slightly from last years, in that, in place of the Caramilk chocolate cheese cake squares, I'll be making caramel apple cheesecake squares.   Also there may be a change up in the sugar cookies as well.   With that in mind, the baking will begin this Sunday, or rather the preparation of cookie dough and pastry for butter tarts.

What always amazes me, about myself, this time of year, is how I manage to get it all done.  The list of baking is a feat in itself, but there's still parties to attend, interior decorations to erect, cards to be written, gifts to be bought, gifts to be wrapped, gifts to be delivered.... It's a whirl wind of activity.  Ordinarily when I come home at the end of the day, I make lunch, make dinner, do the dishes (if it's a good night) go to the gym, and then head for the couch for some r&r before its time to get up and do it all over again.  Somehow at this time of year, I channel an energy level I never knew I had.   I chalk a lot of it up to the "all Christmas tunes, all the time" radio station.  It really puts the Christmas magic into everything I do.  I love that Mariah Carey song "All I want for Christmas is You."  I swear, it makes the butter tarts taste better.  If you cook angry, your food tastes angry, cook festive and you'll have a festive delicious treat tray.

So I will apologize in advance.  Because of all this holiday hullabaloo, I'm afraid something will end up taking a back seat, and most likely it will be this blog.  It's already started, as you've probably noticed. As a symbol of good faith, I promise to post some of my favourite, and most popular, recipes.  I will also post the various shenanigans that will inevitably ensue in the process of getting ready for the festive season.

Cheers,

WHAT AM I WEARING?

Here it is, the 8th of November, and already Christmas paraphernalia is popping up left right and centre. We are barely out of the clutches of candy riddled halloween, and now at every corner there are cookie recipes, and best pies ever books, and make a turkey that would convert even the most devout vegetarian magazine covers.  The ornaments and decorations are in full swing, including the festive coffee cups at both Tim Horton's and Starbucks.  Yes the season is truly bearing down on us like a freight train with no brakes.

Over the last week I've been bracing for the holiday throng.  I have three formal Christmas functions to attend, and three informal Christmas functions to attend.  All of this makes for busy times ahead, but more alarmingly, for the formal parties, I have nothing to wear.  Now ordinarily when I utter those words its more of an abstract statement.  I often do have something to wear, but have pooh-poohed all of the realistic options in favour of a shopping spree.  This time, however, is quite the opposite.  I legitimately do not own a thing to wear to a formal winter event.  I have many a dress for summer formal wear, but they will not suffice for this time of year.  I also have some dress pants upstairs in my closet, all of which are now several sizes too big, and, I fear, farm more suited to a job interview.  So here I find myself on quest for the dress 2012, the sequel to quest for the dress 2011 which revolved around a summer wedding and ended after weeks of fruitlessly searching high and low for something that didn't make me look like I was wearing a sack of potatoes.  I have been out once so far in QFTD 2012, and shockingly, found nothing.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I found one stunning dress that I very nearly fell in love with until I took it off and read the tag.  $230 for the dress alone, pre taxation, and I'd still need a pair of shoes to go with it.  That was way to steep for my budget of $150 all in.  I spent some time on the trusted Sears website and I have found a handful of dresses that may not be hideous.  Unfortunately, the two front runners are on back order and arrive one full week after my first function.  This weekend I am planning a pilgrimage to the Square One Mall in Mississauga in hopes of finding a, cost friendly but non-moo moo like, dress and shoes to match (I legitimately have no shoes either, everything I own for dress up is summer oriented).

I am dreading dress shopping.  There's never a lower point in ones self esteem then when you're standing face to face with your own reflection while wearing a dress that, in spite of how generous it looked on the hanger, makes you look as though you've encased yourself in sausage wrap.  It's as though the whole store is conspiring against you, the lightening makes your skin look sickly, the mirror has somehow added 40lbs, even your own clothes, that you swore looked appropriate when you left the house, begin to turn on you.  Your shirt gets all frumpy from being taken on and off at each shop you venture, hopefully into, your pants seem to get tighter and tighter making it look as though you're smuggling the big top around your thighs.   You leave the mall, dejected and debating about getting a mullet, you couldn't possibly look any worse! It's a down right disturbing time.

So I'm putting on a brave face, bolstering my self confidence, and trying to pretend all those food indiscretions at the fair the last few days didn't happen.  I'm hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst and maybe I'll end up somewhere in the middle at pleasantly surprised.

Cheers,

ROYAL WINTER GONG SHOW

Ahoy hoy!

Once again I apologize for the delayed blog, but I assure you there was good reason.  First there was a near death experience involving an allergic reaction and one of my parents dogs late on Saturday night. This led to a late night trip to the emergence vet clinic, which was an hour away, and a full on Costanza style freak out between my parents.  Consequently, no one got a lot of sleep on Saturday night, even with the extra hour we gained, and I was too tired to blog yesterday.

Today I had a rare privilege through work to spend the day at the Royal Winter Agricultural Fair in Toronto doing a safety presentation to children.   It was a lovely day, I met some lovely co-workers I had not met before and I got to do a bit of browsing around the fair grounds because it was a slow day.  I even won an insulated cheese carrier at a cheese testing demonstration.  All in all, the show was good.

There are of course some zany highlights which it is my obligation to share with you bloggies.  The first of which occurred very early in the day when an octogenarian walked by and informed me and the other female staff member I was with that we were the best looking duo he'd seen so far.  He was wearing a home made knit wool sweater and a Tilly hat, and he was strutting his stuff with is cane.   We took it in stride, it was a compliment after all.  If only it had come from a young hot farm stud, it would have been all the better, and this blog would probably be a lot more colourful tonight.  The next, and by far most bizarre incident, happened a little before high noon.  I was showing a little boy the safety demonstration when an older gentleman wandered into our booth.  He informed us, through writing on a piece of paper, that he had lost his voice beause of second hand smoke.  Fair enough.  Then he gave me a card saying "You are a special person."  Okay.  Next, after he had listened to the presentation, and asked, via paper, what would happen if a plane was hit by lightening (which had absolutely nothing to do with our presentation, he might as well have asked the square root of pi), he then handed me his "business card."  It was a hand written piece of paper with a link to his website called End of Days Prophecy.  This was all rather odd, but just to add to the bizarreness of it, he only gave myself and one other member of staff these business cards.  Which means, out of the 5 of us that were there, he only felt 2 of us were worthy.  The other staff member was a male by the way, so maybe he has a whole Noah's Ark thing going on... There are animals at the Royal...  That was the height of oddities.  We had a few exasperated parents ask us if we wanted to take their children and one lady got huffy with me when I was on my lunch break and she asked me where to find the horses.  I didn't know and she said "well don't you work here?" I don't think she really believed me when I said I was with the vendors and not staff at the fair, like I'm deliberately trying to sabotage her from seeing the damned horses!

What was less the pleasant was what transpired post Royal Winter Fair.  I decided to stay a bit later after work.  This was my first mistake.  My second, and what would prove to be most fatal mistake, was missing the exit for my ramp on the highway.  There is oodles and oodles of construction happening and once I missed the first ramp I could not find my way back to another ramp that was not marked in big bold lettering and with pylons as "closed for construction."  They might as well have just started posting large bill boards with the skull and cross bones at each corner.  After circling like a vulture for 20 minutes I finally broke down and used my phone a friend.  He got me directions to get out of the seventh circle of hell, but it turns out that Dante was wrong; there is an eighth circle of hell and it's called rush hour traffic on the Monday following the time change.  I spent hours crawling up one highway after another, only to find accidents after accident.  At one point I had to do a full u turn because the highway I was on had just been closed.  It should have taken me an hour to get home.  Instead, it took me nearly 2.5 hours after a long day of dealing with children who were wired on free fudge samples and a day off from school.

Now I sit blogging with a glass of wine and one noisy purring cat.  Home just in time to go to bed, get up and do it all over again!

FYI I'm going to check out the end of days prophecy, if there's anything good there I'll be sure to pass it along... But only to those who are worthy...

Cheers,

TECHNICAL UNSUPPORT

Well once again I've been stymied by the powers that be at the satellite TV company.  Several weeks ago I lost the ability to order pay per view movies off my satellite receiver using the remote.  I keep getting an error message that says the phone line must be connected to the receiver in order for the purchase to be made.  I double checked the phone line, even went so far as to go get a phone from upstairs, or the main land as I like to call it, and plug it into the phone line down here just to make sure.  We had dial tone, which to me, is a good sign that the phone line is working.

As I said, the trouble first started several weeks ago, but I have been busy and its never been a real issue.  Now on the first day of flurries in the air, on the verge of winter, or what I like to call, hibernation, I am ready to deal with the problem in hopes of getting it corrected.  I called at 7pm because The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel was starting at 8 and I finished my chores for tonight, even tackled some of the chores for tomorrow, and I felt I needed a reward.  Apparently it was ludicrous to expect that there would be any kind of resolution in an hour.  First I had to do the dance of a thousand buttons just to get to speak to a real live person.  Then I entered the 'hold' queue where upon I got to listen to the phone companies theme song for about 15 minutes, and will now permanently have it stuck in my brain, until Jim took me out of queue limbo.  Jim made several obvious suggestions, including such doozies as "have you checked to see if the phone line is plugged in?"  Why, no Jim, that had NEVER occurred to me because I am a simpleton who is new to the world of electronics and THINKING!  Next he asked me if I had tried testing the line with a phone.  Maybe that's a stretch for some people, but my job is some what technical and requires a certain degree of trouble shooting, so yes, I had tried that too.  Next Jim informs me that I need to perform a test on the phone line, but I can not be on the phone while I perform the test.  He waited to tell me that after he gave me the directions on where to find the test on the menu bar and which selection to push to run the test.  Too little to late Jim!  If you don't want me to push the button, then you need to tell me ahead of time!  We aborted the botched test and he informed me that he'd call me back in 5-10 minutes after I'd had time to run the test on unobstructed phone lines.  Nearly 30 minutes later, Jim was a no show.  So I called back again, went through the same button pushing bonanza, hummed along to the song and then I got through to Emily.  Now I have to start all over and explain everything to her and answer the same mundane questions, but this time I was smart!  I called from my cell phone so the phone line was not tied up for the "test."  While I'm on the cell phone with Emily, performing the test, guess who calls me on my home phone line?? Jim!  Thus ruining the phone line test that I was performing for the 2nd time.  Jim tells me he thinks I need a new receiver, but he'll have to call me back in 30 minutes to an hour.  What?  I hang up the phone from both Jim and Emily and decide to perform the test one last time.  The test, incidentally, does not seem to do anything.  It sits on a screen that says "test" for 5 minutes and then flips back to the last channel I was watching, giving me no test results whatsoever.   20 minutes pass, and Jim does call back, if only to inform me he'll call me back in another 30 minutes.  Jim is a very nervous sounding fellow and its possible I've frightened him in to making regular status update calls.  I would not be surprised if Jim called me again tomorrow, just to see if I had a good nights sleep.

Jim has just called again to inform me that they will in fact be sending me a new receiver.  The crux of the new receiver is this:  There are about 7 movies I've ordered and recorded with my PVR, but have not yet watched.  All these movies will be gone when the new receiver comes.  This can mean only one thing.  Pyjama Movie day on Sunday, woot woot!

Cheers!

HOUSE KEEPING...

I was hesitant to post tonight's blog.  It's a topic which could get me busted in certain circles, but I have long since been opposed to censorship of any kind and so I blog.  The reason I am so hesitant and concerned is the subject matter will undoubtedly be read by one particular follower who happens to be my mother.  Now she's no stranger to my ways, but what she doesn't see won't hurt her, though she probably won't be shocked.

My parents, who are both retired, are heading off for the winter soon and I have been left in charge of two plants and mail pick up.  So this weekend, 2 weeks before their estimated time of departure, they are coming down for a visit, to drop off the plants and to refresh my memory on how to run the snowblower.   With this visit looming there is a certain amount of panic I am dealing with.  To describe my house as chaotic at the moment, would be like describing the dessert and a touch on the dry side.  There are reasons for the insanity, largely I am never home, I'm away at their house, or visiting friends or organizing charity events and retirement parties.  And when I am here in the evenings after an 8 hour day of work, followed by an hour or so at the gym, followed by making dinner and preparing a lunch, and of course blogging, the last thing I feel like doing is grabbing the Swiffer and giving the house the once over.   I know I should, but its really just not my strong suit.  Admittedly the biggest problem is that we are just coming out of the summer and I have had some fairly busy event filled weekends.  I find my house is significantly cleaner and more organized in the winter months when its too cold to go outside and the weather is too unpredictable to be taking road trips.

Nevertheless, I fear I have let the state of the house slide into such disrepair that I have almost become too overwhelmed to deal with.  Just to be clear, it's not a pig stye, I don't wallow in my own filth, a thin layer of cat hair and dust maybe, but certainly not filth.  It's more a case of things that have accumulated or things that have been used, but not put away properly.  These things are slowly taking over my office to a point where its almost more of a disarrayed storage unit.  It's a bit like an ongoing yard sale collection,  ironing boards, plastic wine glasses for camping, some wall art from when I was a child, shoes of any variety, stuffed animals, books, a clock that no longer keeps time, an old stereo, a printer that no longer works.  The list could go on forever.  

And now here I find myself on the precipice of ridicule with no more then a mere 48 hours to control the chaos.  I took a big stab at things tonight and I have worked out an agenda for tomorrow and Saturday morning.  Tonight I tackled the main floor, which was by far the easiest to undertake.  Tomorrow the basement knows no mercy.  Saturday morning will see the upstairs taken down like a lame gazelle.  Clutter be ware!  I am on to you and no nook or cranny is safe.

I am realizing now, one other fatal flaw with this blog.  If she should happen to read it tonight or tomorrow and I don't quite climb that mountain to the summit, then she'll know I tried but failed...  It is a risk I'll just have to take.

Wish me luck, and if there's no blog tomorrow, you'll know the junk has won!

Cheers,

TRICK OR TREAT

Well we weathered the storm both at home and in the craziness of an office being run by a maniac who forgets what has been told to him 3 minutes before.  And now here I find myself, post halloween trick-or-treatery, finally with time to blog.

Halloween is a holiday I enjoy greatly.  I have fond childhood memories of dressing up as something uninspired and unoriginal such as "hippy girl" or the classic witch.  I also remember getting more creative as I got older, for instance two years ago I went to a party as "The Hulk in transition"  Half green with clothes partially torn.  Anything that gives you the opportunity to dress up as anything you want without repercussion or judgement is quite alright by me.  Accompanied by the fact that its a license to eat candy by the fist full and you've got yourself a brilliant little holiday.  On the topic of uninspired costumes, slutty nurse, slutty police woman, slutty angel, slutty devil, slutty bunny and slutty pirate have all been done to death.  If you really need to go as something slutty, put forth some effort ladies!  How about slutty Ronald McDonald or slutty can of tuna, or even slutty Fat Albert?   I'm just saying, if you really want to stand out in the crowd put some work into it.  

This year I had about 43 kids come to the door.  There were the usual suspects, Jason & Freddy,  the man trio of spider, super and bat, several princesses, and one Buzz Lightyear who was far to scared of the ghost hanging by my door to come near enough to get his candy, his mom had to get it for him.  Then there were the unidentifiables.  I believe I handed a Coffee Crisp to a dill pickle this evening. Either that, or a very unwell cactus.  Two or three uninventives came to the door with face paint on and nothing else to really identify them as in costume.  By far the best costume was a hot air balloon that clearly took some innovation and thought well beyond the years of its wearer.  Judging by the voracious interest my father took in the description of this costume I would hazard a guess that the costumer was of paternal origins.  Also there is a good chance my dad is going to dress up as a hot air balloon next year.

One final point of interest (or maybe not depending on your prerogative); you can tell a lot by the way a child acts on Halloween.  Even if they are wired for sound on more sugar then really ought to be consumed, the ones with good manners will always say "thank you."  Tonight,  Captain America showed up at my door and yelled "trick-or-treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat" and when I gave him the candy he turned and ran onto the next house, no thank you in sight.  All the while his parents were standing in the street (or at least I assumed they were parents or else something weird was going on) talking to each other and neither one said anything to him about his behaviour.  On the contrast, I had several children, including one exuberant Mini Mouse, wish me a happy halloween after they thanked me for my candy contribution.  Its all about the manners, and what better time to show your children to be polite then when they are dressed up like superheroes, travelling door to door, taking candy from total strangers.

Thus concludes the halloween addition of the blog.

On a side note, I do hope anyone affected by the Hurricane was able to take shelter and is doing well now inspire of the circumstances.  Thoughts are to those in their time of need.

Cheers & Happy Hallow's Eve
(You can't see or hear it, but I'm sitting on the couch howling like a wolf)

BATON DOWN THE HATCHES

Nearing the eve of Halloween a horror story is unfolding before us.   We are bracing for the worst here, taking cover, watching the news intently for any updates.  Of course I am talking about the potential for Mitt Romney to be elected as the next president of the US.   The mere thought of it sends shivers up my spine.  The man with the unflappable hair and right-wing extremist views becoming leader of the free world.  A man who backs his senators when they make statements such as "when a woman becomes pregnant by rape, it's what god intended" and "legitimate rape" and the ever famous self-proclaimed "binders full of women."  It is truly a backward slide in a supposedly forward moving society.  It will be epically tragic and, I'm afraid, detrimental to the American economy.

So it seems no small coincidence that a massive hurricane, one of the largest of its kind, is bearing down on the eastern seaboard.  Her name, is none other then Sandy.  Perhaps she should be called a herricane, in the face of the potential atrocities faced women's rights, and of course, the environment.  Yes mother nature can be a real bitch when you piss her off.   My hopes would be for Sandy to sweep the extremist republicans out to sea and leave everyone else untouched.  Unfortunately I know that will not happen.  It would seem fitting to remember what happened the last time a republican was in office when a hurricane struck.  The true colours of the republicans came out then, and are still being felt by the people of New Orleans to this day.

I may be away for a few days with the up coming storm, so I will leave you with my best wishes for halloween and also for everyone to stay safe and dry in the upcoming storm.


Will blog again when I can,

Cheers,

DAY 3 AND SORRY FOR THE DELAY

Once again, had a busy Friday night.  Attended a retirement party and then went out for dinner.  There was a stroke scare for a bit, but it turns out I was just allergic to someone's perfume...

So for the final day of the raw cleanse you will be eating the following:

Upon waking: 32 oz (4 cups) filtered water with lemon juice

Breakfast:

Prepare 32 oz of Raw Cleanse Green Berry Bliss Smoothie and enjoy 16oz throughout the morning.
Place remaining 16 oz in refrigerator for mid afternoon drink.

Lunch:

1 large bowl of last nights balancing broth
Orange Spinach Salad with orange-tahini dressing
Orange Spinach Salad with Orange-Tahini Dressing

Salad:

4 cups fresh baby spinach
1/2 cup fresh sliced mushrooms
1 orange peeled and sliced
1/2 cup red onion finely sliced
1/3 cup or small handful of walnuts, halved

Dressing:

1 cup fresh orange juice small handful of pitted dates 1/4 cup raw tahini
2 cloves garlic
1 tsp lemon zest
1 tbsp fresh lemon juice

Place all dressing ingredients into a blender and blend until emulsified.
Toss spinach, mushrooms, orange, and onion with desired amount of dressing, transfer onto a plate and top with walnut halves.

Mid Afternoon:

Enjoy the remaining 16 oz Green Berry Bliss Smoothie.

Diner:
Start with Raw Cocktail or Herbal tea Berry Cocktail:

1/2 cup of blueberries or your favorite berry (fresh or frozen) 1 apple
1/3 cup of filtered water or sparkling mineral water
Pass berries and apple through your juicer or blend in a high speed blender and pour into your favorite cocktail glass containing water.

Diner Salad

On a bed of mixed greens add the following: grated carrots
grated beet
Thinly sliced purple cabbage.

Dress with one of the raw dressings provided and enjoy with a side of lightly steamed broccoli tossed with a small amount of Tamari (naturally fermented soy sauce).

End the evening with a cup of your favorite herbal tea.

Now I've gone away for the weekend so I'm not sure how much blogging will get done.  Will try to do my best, but if i don't, have a lovely weekend full of shenanigans and spice!

Cheers,

RAW RAW SIS BOOM BAH DAY 2!

So, because I'm lazy and don't feel like blogging the days events, and also because I promised, here is the menu for day 2 of the raw food cleanse.  Stay tuned for day #3, which may come later tonight if I get through this mountain of laundry.  How many clothes did I wear this week??

RAW FOOD CLEANSE DAY 2 

Upon waking start off your day with 32oz (4 C) water with lemon

Breakfast:

Detoxify and energize with 16-32 oz green based juice throughout the morning.  You'll remember this from my previous blog about choking down the green paste.  Good luck to you if you try to do this one.

Here are a couple of options to choose from:

Daily Green

2 cups fresh spinach
6 celery stalks
1 medium cucumber
1/2 bunch flat leaf parsley

Run all ingredients through a juicer and enjoy!

Green Goddess

2 cups kale
4 celery stalks
2 organic apples
1 inch piece of ginger root 1 lemon peeled
1/4 bunch flat leaf parsley

Run all ingredients through a juicer and enjoy!

Helpful notes:
If the green goddess juice is too tart, add another apple to sweeten it up.
If you don’t have a juicer and can’t borrow one then you can blend everything in your
high speed blender.
If using a high speed blender to prepare your green juice, remove stringy bits from the
celery (I never did figure out how to do this so I just put it in the blender.  It's going to be disgusting no matter what you do, string is the least of your concerns), juice the lemon, you may want to grate the ginger root to your taste, de-core apples, and de-vein the kale.

LUNCH

Enjoy a large raw green salad.
Kale salad as yesterday or mixed field green salad loaded with fresh vegetables

Dressing options:
Apple cider dressing or lemon and olive oil dressing or try the honey mustard dressing below.

Honey Mustard Salad Dressing:

1 tablespoon Dijon mustard 1/4 cup honey
1/4 cup olive oil
1/4 cup filtered water

Blend all ingredients well

MID AFTERNOON BREAK

Enjoy an herbal tea of your choice or have a nice hot cup of lemon ginger tea. This will be your saving grace as your choking through the green juice.  Just think about that delicious tea you'll get to have.

Lemon Ginger Tea

2 or more slices of ginger root (I love ginger so I tend to add 3-4 thin slices) 1 lemon wedge
honey to taste
Add hot water, let steep for a few minutes and enjoy!

Mid afternoon or earlier prepare a pot of Balancing Broth as follows:

Balancing Broth

In a large pot add the following ingredients:

1-2 medium onions
4 carrots cut into quarters
4 celery stalks cut into quarters
2 medium potatoes quartered, scrubbed and skin on 2 cups broccoli
4 cloves garlic, crushed
1/2 cup fresh flat leaf parsley
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon dried basil

Cover with 10 cups of filtered water and bring to a boil.
Continue cooking over low heat for 1 hour.
Allow it to cool and store in your refrigerator for up to one week. Or it can be frozen for use later as a vegetable stock.

Diner:

1 large bowl of balancing broth with a few of the vegetables.

Prepare a large raw green salad as the night before. Toss with dressing of your choice from the recipes provided.

Finish your night off with an herbal tea or ginger tea.

Cheers,

RAW RAW RAW!

Here it is finally, after many days of touting last weeks 3 day raw cleanse, I am finally posting the ingredients and day by day schedule.  Due to the length of the instructions for each day, I'll post them day by day.

First off you will need the following:

• 1 bunch of Broccoli
• 1 large bunch of kale (not bok choy)
• 1 bunch of flat leaf parsley
• 1 box of PC organic field greens (or other organic lettuce)
• 1 box of PC organic spinach (pre washed and cut…makes life easier)
• 1-2 bunches of green onions
• 1 box of baby tomatoes
• 2 cucumbers (english or field)
• 1 medium onion
• 1 head of garlic (don't worry you won't use all of it)
• 2 medium potatoes
• 1 bunch of celery 
• 4-5 Large carrots
• 1 beet
• 1 small red cabbage
• 1 box of sliced mushrooms 
• 1 small red onion
• 3 oranges
• 2-3 lemons
• 4-5 Apples
• 1-2 Avocados
• Berries, fresh or frozen 
• Ginger root (for making a great orange-tahini salad dressing and ginger tea)
• Extra Virgin Coconut oil
• Apple cider vinegar
• Tahini
• Almond milk
• Small handful of walnuts
• Chia seeds 1/2 cup (you can purchase a small amount at the bulk barn)
• cayenne pepper flakes (will only need a couple of pinches but if you like it spicy then get more)
• 1 bottle of kombucha (a bottled drink that can be found at Harmony or other whole food stores) 

Plus any other vegetables you like to have in your salads or low glycemic fruit that you like to eat at this time of year, this includes apples, kiwi's and berries.

DAY 1 MENU PLAN

BREAKFAST

Upon waking: Drink 32oz (4 Cups) of pure filtered water with juice of a quarter of a lemon to begin to flush your system. Continue to drink pure filtered water throughout your day to stay hydrated.

BREAKFAST:
Raw Cleanse Green Berry Bliss Smoothie

In a high speed blender add the following items:

2 large handfuls of spinach or de-veined kale 

1 cup of fresh or frozen berries of your choice 

2 cups of almond milk
1 table spoon of chia seeds pre-soaked
1 tsp of coconut oil

Blend till smooth and enjoy.

Helpful Notes:

I tried making this smoothie with both spinach and kale and it was equally good.
If using plain almond milk add a pinch of pure organic vanilla extract for some added
yumminess
Pre-soak the chia seeds in 1 cup of almond milk while getting other things ready. If
you have never used chia seeds before they are tiny white or black seeds and when added to water the swell and become gelatinous. They are a great source of protein, omega-3, omega-6 and fibre.
Coconut oil is solid at room temperature. I just lightly scrap 1 tsp off and add to the blender while running. If you prefer you can melt the oil by placing it over some hot water in a container.

LUNCH:

Raw Kale Salad
In a large bowl add the following:

2-3 large handfuls of Kale (wash and de-veined)

1-2 large handful of field greens
1/2 cup of grape tomatoes sliced in half
2 green onions, thinly sliced
1/2 large english cucumber or field cucumber 1/2 red pepper (optional)

Plus any other salad veggies that you like to add in your salads.

Dressing:
In a small bowl whisk together:

1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
Juice of 1/2 lemon of fresh lemon juice 

2 pinches of dried herbs of your choice 

1/2 tsp of sea salt (add to your liking)

Once salt is completely dissolved add to salad to taste, toss and enjoy!

Place any remaining dressing into a small glass jar and store in the fridge.

Helpful Notes:

Apple cider vinegar can be replaced with a vinegar of your choice. However, unpasteurized apple cider vinegar such as Bragg’s contains the “Mother”. The “Mother” is a protein enzyme molecules that are connected in stand-like chains. Read more information on the benefits of raw apple cider click at the following link: 

www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/the-benefits-of-apple-cider-vinegar www.bragg.com/books/acv_excerpt

DINNER

Pre-Diner Cocktail and Appetizer

1 cup Kombucha
1/3 cup of fresh or frozen fruit

In a coctail glass add fruit to the bottom and gently crush (not to much) just want the juices to be released. Then poor 1 cup of kombucha over top, mix and enjoy.

Enjoy a fruit salad as an appetizer consisting of 1 small apple, 1 cup of berries (fresh or previously frozen berries can be used here), and if available 1/2 banana.

Diner Salad:

Prepare a large salad of mixed greens, with plenty of vegetables such as cucumbers, tomatoes, avacado, bell peppers, sprouts, diced celery etc.

Keep the dressing simple: 

Extra virgin olive oil
Lemon juice Sea salt
Add directly to the salad to your liking, toss and enjoy

After diner tea:
Lemon Ginger Tea
2 or more slices of ginger root (I love ginger so I tend to add 3-4 thin slices) 1 lemon wedge
honey to taste

Add hot water, let steep for a few minutes and enjoy! 

I will post day the menu for day #2 tomorrow.

Cheers,

THIS FOOD IS FOR DISPLAY PURPOSES ONLY

Because I believe in helping my fellow man, by default I have be come the charity campaign co-ordinator for our office's annual charity campaign activity.    It's months of planning and work and organizing and each year I seem to take on more and more.  Last year was an exceptional year, we raised nearly $4000 for a local women's shelter.  When I started working at this office, the annual take was about $1500 which is still nothing to sneeze at.  The fact that each time I have volunteered to help with charity campaigns (as I have done in almost every office I've worked in) they typically double in collection, has always made me feel good and kept me going.  Last year was also exceptional in that I finally felt like it was time for me to step down from the roll as it was consuming me and no one else really seemed to care or put forth any effort.  On the day of the event, when everything came together and we handed the cheque to a very grateful organization, I had a change of heart.  I agreed to do it again this year and added even more fundraising efforts to it, in hopes of breaking that $4000 mark.

If only I'd stuck to my original plan to resign last year...  This year's event is turning into a three ring circus with me at the centre of the big top.  While I did have some help last year, the two people I could rely on the most have both had health issues and are no longer working.  Of course I understand that and their respective situations are far more important then this charity campaign.  Unfortunately that has left me with a handful of people to help, people who have not offered much throughout the planning of this event, until the very last minute.  The event we hold is a BBQ which also features a raffle of donations and a mix of games people pay to play.  The thing about organizing a bbq is that it's key to have food.  Last year we dodged a near bullet when I arrived at the dreaded Zehr's to pick up our order and the store manager (who was a different manager on duty then the lax character I had spoken to the day before to confirm our order) had no idea what I was talking about.  Luckily they pulled the food order together and gave us a significant discount.  It was my greatest fear to not have food for the event.  This year, one of the charity team members told me he had an in with No Frills.  Up until a week and a half ago I had no idea if he had spoken to them or not because he had been away from the office.  Last Friday he told me that No Frills charity manager would get back to him about our order.

Now I'd like to be perfectly clear here.  We were not looking for a donation of any kind for the food, we were paying for it, an order which on average runs $800.  Most businesses are thrilled to get that order.  No Frills, apparently, does not like making money.  This morning, I still had no answer as to if they were going to let us buy the food from them, the grocery store.  Finally this afternoon my co-worker got an answer, and the answer was this:  They did not wish to put our order together.  Again, to be clear, the grocery store, where one typically goes to buy food, did not wish to sell us food.  The BBQ is in two days.  I am not panicking by any means because I know this will work out, but it's laughable.  So I hopped in my truck, grocery list in hand and headed to my old stand by... you guessed it, Sobey's.  I was on my way across the parking lot when I heard a horn beeping frantically.  When I looked up I saw it was my co-worker careening into the parking lot.  Apparently No Frills, remembering their main function as a business was to sell the food, agreed to put the items together, but were unable to supply us with a couple things because they didn't carry them.  Fine I say, it would have been simple enough to tell us that last week, but whatever.  In retrospect, I wish I'd had already agreed to deal with Sobey's so we could call No Frill's back and say "I'm sorry, we no long her need the food you were going to refuse to sell us."  Next, my co-worker informs me that they don't want us to pick the food up to early.  The BBQ starts at 11:30am.  So even though they've agreed to supply us with food, there are still restrictions.  Who knows what will happen at this point.  All I can say is tay tuned and please pray to the grocery store Gods for me.

Cheers,

PLEASE ACCEPT MY SINCEREST APOLOGIES

Good Monday evening, my bloggies (my new word for my readers).  I sincerely hope you can forgive the radio silence I've been under, or rather blog silence.  It's been a hectic weekend, which as you may guess, is riddled with calamity and hilarity.  Without further ado, let me get you up to speed since we last met on my blog.

Friday night, after a failed attempt to control the food monster in me, I went to bed full of Tostitos and guacamole and a couple of glasses of red wine.  I awoke around 2:30 to the worst charlie horse/leg cramp I have ever had.  It struck me in the shin, on the outside of my left leg.  I tried everything to get it to ease up, but the only thing that worked seemed to be standing and walking on it.  Which would have been all well and good on any given Friday, except I was picking up an extra early shift on Saturday morning.  Not so great.  When it was time to get up, I was exhausted from a restless sleep.

Saturday's shift went well, uneventful, I even got out early.  I thought I'll go home and have a nap with all this extra time I have!  Oh the afternoon nap, so illusive in its nature.

For a little over a year now, myself and three girlfriends get together every few weeks for a dinner party.  Whoever is hosting does the main course, and each of us contribute something else i.e. dessert, drinks and appetizers.  I was on drinks this time, which happens to be my specialty.  Now this group of friends all lives about an hour away from me, so I was on a time schedule to get there, which meant my nap had to involve the alarm clock.  I came home at 1pm, set the alarm for 3pm as a worst case scenario.  As exhausted as I was, I could not sleep.  Neighbours were out howling in the streets like a bunch of wild beasts, somehow the sound of vacuum cleaners being slammed into furniture was reverberating through the entire house, and the capper of it all was the two steeped teas I had consumed in the morning were doing their caffein best to keep me awake.  I finally slipped into a deep sleep, at 2:50pm.  I stumbled into the shower, attempted a new styling device for  my hair (not a good idea to bust out a new toy when you're on a tight time table).  By the time my hair was done it was already 10 minutes later then I planned to leave and I still had yet to do make up and choose an outfit!  I ended up leaving half an hour later then I intended and so I was late.  I'm blaming the majority of this on the curling spin brush doohickey, the rest is on me for not having pre planned an outfit.

Once at the party I began to drink.  It was a great time, as usual.  I remember laughing and eating and talking girls stuff with the girls.  Solving all the worlds problems while stuffing my face and drinking wine like I was Italian.  Then came Sunday morning.  The damage was worse then I had thought.  I woke up at 11:22am like I was a teenager again.  My head felt like it had grown 3 times its size and I must have been sucking on cotton balls all night my mouth was so dry.  I made may way down to the living room and it was on this trip down the stairs that I discovered I had painted my nails at some point in the night.  Shockingly, I did a fairly good job.  I gathered up my belongings and hopped in my truck to make the drive home.  It was on the drive home that I started receiving text messages.  They were replies to the many texts I had sent the night before,  some were sent to the girls who were at the party and sitting across from me when I sent them.  These texts ranged anywhere from requests to pass the chicken to, summer vacation plans to a message about a new species of praying mantis which I can not explain.  I responded to my friends in kind, explaining the copious amounts of wine that went into each text message.  This seemed to placate everyone, and I thought everything was fine until someone informed me that my tweet was hilarious.  What?  I was tweeting?  I will quote "I'm so drunk! RT if you're #drunk"  I'd like to remind you I just turned 31 two weeks ago.  Once I realized that twitter was open season I figured I'd better check Facebook.  There were two similar posts on there as well.  Remember when the worst thing you could do was drunk dial?  Now we can text, and message and take pictures to send them to people, who don't find a sideways picture of a wine bottle to be as riotously funny as you did at the time, even if there is a porcupine on the label.  And if that's not enough, through the magic of twitter and Facebook we can share with the world just how drunken and ridiculous we are.  Let us all be thankful my laptop was safely at home and well out of arms reach or god only knows what would have popped up on here on Saturday night/Sunday morning.

I guess what it boils down to is that not only do I owe my bloggies an apology for my absence in blog, but I also owe anyone who was a member of my contact list, twitter follower or Facebook friend an apology for my very public display of intoxication.  For now I am back on the straight and narrow, and after the epic hangover that I think I am still dealing with, I intend to stay in a state of sobriety for a very long time.

Stay tuned for a copy of the 3 day raw cleanse to be posted soon...

Cheers,

YOU SHOULD BE BLOGGING, YEAH!

Well I didn't think I was going to blog tonight, I'm not very inspired.  But then I thought of all those faithful reader's who would be checking my blog, eagerly awaiting the newest addition to the blog-lection (that's a new word I created meaning blog collection).

Today while listening to the CBC radio, they were discussing cheating, specifically in regards to the whole Lance Armstrong debacle, but they were asking people if they had ever cheated and to call in with the details.  All I could think of was cheating on a diet.  I've been on so many diets and cheated on all, that led me to thinking that cheating on a diet for me is more like a full blown affair.  I posted this to my twitter account which then led to a number of questions about what I had for lunch.  What I had for lunch was actually ver healthy,  a nice spinach salad with my favourite home made dijon dressing.

The diet affair didn't start until later in the evening.  I have been eating raw for most of this week, tonight I had a baked chicken breast and some dijon roasted potatoes (due to the fact that all the grocery store had when I went looking for dijon mustard, were the large containers, I am now making everything into a dijon flavour), but it wasn't enough.  I had the craving for salty, crunchy and garlicy.  So I went to Sobey's, bought a bag of corn chips and made some guacamole.  I ate all the guacamole and the corn chips, and I don't regret it one bit.  It was delicious and it prevented what would have been eating a full large pizza and poutine tomorrow to satisfy the junk food craving.

Now I'm sitting on the sofa, waiting for my laundry to be finished on a Friday so I can go to bed and get up to go to work tomorrow.

See, not very inspired.  Will blog more interesting things tomorrow...

Have a wonderful Friday night.

Cheers,

HOW THE HELL DID THEY RUN OUT OF TEA!!

This was a day that never should have been.  I woke up, bright eyed and ready to take on the day.  I was free from the restrictions of the raw cleanse and what I had missed most of all over the last three days, was the caffein filled steeped tea from Tim Horton's.  Tim Horton's, for those of you who don't know, is a coffee franchise that I can easily say, is a Canadian icon.  Everyone here knows Tim Horton's and everyone has their specific order from Tim Horton's.  It is, by nature, a coffee and donut shop, but they also have tea for those of us who don't drink coffee.  Several years ago they introduced a tea called "steeped tea" which doesn't really make a lot of sense if you think about it, because all tea is steeped to some degree, other wise you'd just be drinking hot water.  The "steeped tea," as it's touted, is essentially loose leaf tea brewed in a filter like their coffee, and I am convinced that, not only does it have more caffeine then their coffee, it's also laced with smack, because it is that addictive.  Needless to say, I was desperate for my steeped tea, so imagine my rage when I rolled up to the speaker box in the drive thru and asked for a large steeped tea with 3 milk and the squeaky voice came back over the radio and said "I'm sorry we've run out of steeped tea, can I offer you a bag tea?"  Run out?  Run out?  Isn't this your business?  How do you run out of a staple like that?  I guarantee you that they've never run out of coffee!  And to add insult to injury, she offers me a bag tea, like that's even remotely comparable!  Their bag tea tastes like bird seed in hot water in my opinion.  It's for the feint of heart, not for us real caffeine addicts.  If it had have been any other day I probably could have handled it like a rational human being and taken the bag tea, begrudgingly albeit. But today was not a normal day.  No siree, it was my first day back into the wonderful world of steeped tea, so I told her to stick the bag tea where the sun don't shine and high tailed to to the next Tim Horton's.  Again for those of you unfamiliar with this Canadian custom, Tim Horton's are on almost every street corner, you could toss a coin and hit one.  We as a nation, actually have a problem.  I digress, I hightailed it to the next Tim Horton's and low and behold a miracle was found.  They had steeped tea.  I almost cheered in the drive thru, I know I did a fist pump, which must have seemed odd to my fellow motorist in line behind me.  I have never had a tea that tasted so sweet.  I think I inhaled it to be perfectly honest, but it was well worth the 5 minute drive from one Tim's the the next and the combined 15 minute wait in line.

Unfortunately the lack of steeped tea from the first Tim Horton's seemed to be an omen of the day to come.  First the meeting I had, produced painful results which has potentially added months and an entire redo to the project I have been working on since January.  Next my moody boss had a bi-polar moment and went from laughing and jovial to cranky and not jovial (couldn't think of another adjective) and got mad at me for not wanting to volunteer my time on Saturday when I already have plans.

There was also a terrible mishap at lunch where a pre-sale on Ticketmaster ended with me being able to only get two of the three tickets I needed for a show.  Fingers are crossed I can get the third when they go on regular sale tomorrow...

And the piece de resistance was another marred attempt at grocery shopping.  I went to the discount store this time, it was on my way home so I thought I'd save myself some time.  How busy could the store be on a Thursday at 4pm?  Things got of too a rocky start when I didn't have a quarter to "lease" my shopping cart for the term of my stay at Fresco.  Then there were no loose cooking onions, just 5lb bags, I don't need 5lbs of cooking onions.  None of the garlic looked any great hell and I totally forgot to buy chicken.  When it was time to check out, they had two check outs going, one was the express, the other was the regular line.  Both were lined up down the aisles.  Wouldn't you think you might want to call for back up at this point?  If you haven't figured out from the .25 cents that I needed to use a cart, this is a bag-your-own kind of store, and in spite of what seemed like self bagging victory at my last trip to Zehr's, when it came time to bag these groceries I was lost, total mayhem.  And because of the lack of decent garlic, onions and my forgetfulness around the poultry, I ended up going to Sobey's anyway.  Good old faithful Sobey's, where you can get a cart without having to feel like a common criminal.  Where they have staff who actually put the food, in some kind of organized pattern, in the bags for you!  In a moment of weakness, I nearly bought a rotisserie chicken and some potato wedges for dinner, but I abstained and stuck with my healthy dinner plan.  This I consider to be a small victory.

Now I'm home, I should be going to the gym, but it's cold and rainy, and given the difficulties I've had all day with social outings, I think its best if I just stay here.  God only knows what kind of hell could be lurking on the elliptical or the bench press machine.

Here's hoping your day is a little brighter for reading this.

Cheers,

THE CASE OF MISTAKE IDENTITIES...

It is day 3 of my 3 day raw cleanse, and I am feeling the benefits of this cleanse fully.  The lady who was organizing this kept talking about how much energy she has after the does this, and up until today, I couldn't say I really felt like I could run a marathon.  I actually still don't feel like I could run a marathon, but I do have more energy, my sleep is improving, my digestive tract seems to be functioning well, so all in all, it's been a good experience.

It was, however, brought to my attention that there was some misunderstanding in the produce section of Zehrs.  I have been keeping my friends abreast of my progress day to day, or moreover relying on them for moral support in the form of guilt whenever I had the urge to say F it and scarf down a Big Mac.  Yesterday a friend sent me a picture of some kale she was wanting to add to a soup and wanted to know how I made out with the deveining.  For those of you who are familiar with kale you will know this is what it looks like:

What struck me as odd was that what I purchased did not look like this.  I almost informed my friend that she was fool for having bought bok choy until it occurred to me that the real fool, might in fact be looking back at me in the mirror.

Bok Choy:

Not the same as kale.  Now I feel guilty for going around giving kale a bad name when I didn't even eat it.  It turns out that raw bok choy salad is not my favourite thing in the world.  Will be sure to try the actual kale some time soon...

In the mean time, today's diet consisted of a lovely green fruit smoothie, a spinach and orange salad with orange tahini dressing, balancing broth & a raw carrot and raw beet salad for dinner followed by me new favourite ginger lemon tea.

The smoothie is delicious, and when I have more time, I am going to post the entirety of the 3 day cleanse for anyone who'd like to try it.  I know I really sold the green leaf juice yesterday, but I bet if you added kale instead of bok choy, it would be worlds better!

The spinch and orange salad was good, but I hate oranges, can't handle that pulpy texture (almost typed puppy texture, which would have been all sorts of wrong) so I choked down one orange piece confirmed my dislike for the orange, then worked around it.

The raw beet was something new.  Who thinks of eating a raw beet?  The raw food yogini that's who...  It was terrific and the tahini orange dressing was simply to die for (picture saying this with a very plush English accent, throw in a left hand wave as you do it, makes it more fancy).

I am limited on time tonight because I have an appointment with my PVR, so I will share with you the smoothie recipe with the remainder of the recipes to follow.  In the mean time, if you interested in eating raw, or just finding out more about it, I would encourage you to check out the following blog:

http://rawfoodyogini.blogspot.ca

I swear it is just a conicidence that we have the same background theme.  First time I went in I thought "why am I looking at my own blog"  then I read it and it was logical and actually about something...


RAW CLEANSE GREEN BERRY BLISS SMOOTHIE

2 large handfuls of spinach
1 cup of fresh or frozen berries
2 cup sof almond milk
1 tbsp of chia seeds
1tsp of coconut oil

Chia seeds can be found at the Bulk Barn and probably most whole food stores.  They need to soak prior to use for them to do their stuff, so pour them into 1 cup of the almond milk before prepping the rest of your smoothie, to give them time to expand.

Blend all ingredients and enjoy!

WELL THE TEA WAS GOOD...

Oh my, blog followers, my fears about the green leaf juice were not unwarranted.   It was a challenge, to say the least, to choke it down.  It took me 2.5 hours to drink apps 3 cups of green leafy juice that tasted like spinach had an affair with celery and it turned into a weird four-way with cucumber and and parsley.  To top it off, it was very very very thick.  So I poured some lemon water into it and shook.  This did not improve the flavour, but it did make it easier to drink since it was less of a paste after I added the water.  2.5 hours into my day, green juice consumed, it was time for a rejuvenating tea.  It doesn't sound like much, but after the green paste I was sooo looking forward to the tea.  That's when my computer decided to have a melt down and I had to call the IT department.  An hour later, we got to the bottom of the PDF crisis, but I still hadn't had my tea.  Now I'm not sure how strict the rules are when following the 3 day raw cleanse, but I decided to have my tea with my big salad, even though there was no tea time allotment at lunch.  I also decided to have some of the cleansing broth this afternoon which was reserved for tonights big salad dinner.

This cleanse is turning into quite a challenge.  I give anyone who eats raw on a regular basis, a great deal of credit.  I am almost 100% certain that I'm going to be having the anti-raw meal day on Thursday which will culminate with a big juicy rib eye steak on the grill with a side of turkey.  No that's not true, that would utterly defeat the purpose of the cleanse, but I will be rewarding myself with a healthy non-raw option and maybe a cupcake.

I have not yet seen the menu for tomorrow so I can't tell you what kind of crazy breakfast beverage I'll be having tomorrow, but I can tell you this:  Of the list of groceries I bought for the 3 day cleanse I have used all but one of the items.  The one that remains unused yet is the medium beet.  I can only imagine what this beet is going to be used for and I am scared.   I feel like it will be juice related...

Will keep you posted of my progress on the last day.

Cheers,

TODAY'S BLOG IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER 'W'

For Work, as in holy smokes how is eating raw food this much work??  (incidentally, you needed to read the title of my blog first for the first sentence to make sense.  If you didnt I am ashamed of you.  No I'm not, you're still my favourite blog reader).  I'm de-veining kale, I'm crushing garlic, I'm chopping up vegetables like  a sou chef, only no one's paying me and I've had no formal training of any kind so a lot of the vegetables are getting murdered.  Tonight for instance, I had the great honour of trying to cut up ginger root.  Now I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure you don't eat that peely bit that covers the root.  How in the hell do you get that off?? I used a paring knife, like it was some kind of exotic and misshapen fish I was attempting to clean.  In the end, I'm sure a quarter of the ginger root ended up in the compost bucket instead of in my ginger lemon tea with a dash of honey!

This cleanse is taking a tole on so many aspects of my life.  It is incredibly time consuming, so much so that I missed a major political announcement while I  was putting together the ingredients required for the cleansing vegetable broth.  I've barely had time to sit down, drink my tea and blog!

Today was a challenge food wise also,  I got up 10 minutes earlier to make my smoothie, which consisted of a handful of spinach, a cup of frozen berries, one table spoon of chia seeds and 2 cups of almond milk.  The chia seeds need to be soaked first so they can expand and do their stuff (which apparently is quite fantastic when they do it).  I needed to allow for soaking time in the almond milk, which I did while I was shoving spinach into my blender.  I was nervous about how I'd like this concoction, but it actually was quite tasty, though not all of the chia seeds puffed up the way they were meant too.  Then it was time for lunch,  I would recommend, for those who've never had kale before, not to make a salad that is 97% kale.  It's not horrible, but it's not my favourite thing and I found the cider dressing I made to go with it, too acidic.  It felt like I was burning my tongue with every mouthful.  Lesson learned for dinner.  I added no kale, went with mixed greens and spinach and a whole crap load of vegetables.  Also tried out home made honey dijon dressing which will now be my dressing of choice for the remainder of the raw cleanse.

In terms of the "cleanse" portion of this experiment, I will save the gory details, but I will say this:  It does what it's supposed to do.  On top of that, I feel like everything is working in harmony together, like I've balanced out the ph in my body and things are running like a well oiled machine.  My stomach, which has been in knots for days now, actually feels calm and relaxed.  So I guess there is something to this.

While I was apprehensive about this morning's breakfast plan, I am down right terrified of tomorrow's.  It's leafy greens juice day!  Yay!!  Only I don't have a juicer so I'm being told I can improvise with a blender.  Leafy green juice day afforded me the choice between a kale & cucumber smoothie or a spinach, celery and parsley smoothie.  I went for the spinach one.  Not sure how I'm going to puree this all up into a juice format so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to comment.  Also it was suggested that I "de-string" the celery.  Again, any ideas on how to de-string celery would be most helpful. The next think I'm not sure of is how I'm going to get this thing into me without tossing my raw cookies all over the place.  Should be a good challenge I'm sure.  I will let you know how things go tomorrow, unless I'm too green...bazinga!

Cheers,

IT HAPPENED AGAIN...

Today is the last day before I begin a 3 day raw food cleanse, which does not mean I'm spending the next 3 days throwing out raw food from my fridge.  What it means is, for the next three days, I will be eating nothing but raw food.  Not only does it mean eating raw, but it means eating raw food that will clean me out, hopefully, in a non-violent fashion.

Today I had to make a pilgrimage to the grocery store in order to purchase the required list of food for the cleanse. If you've been reading my blog, then you'll know I have some serious issues surrounding groceries.  Today was no exception.  To top it off I wasn't just shopping for my traditional list of food, which I've committed to memory, I was shopping for things like extra virgin coconut oil, chia seeds and kombucha.  One of the articles on my list was tahini.  It always seems to me that when grocery shopping for something new, there is always one item on your list that seems to be hidden, and try as you might, you'll circle the store, checking every aisle you can think of that might contain that missing ingredient, and you will not find it.  Today it was very nearly the almond milk, but in the end it was the tahini.  Such a simple little bottle of sesame paste was oh so illusive.  I checked everywhere I could think of that might be aisle that contained the tahini, I even checked the pet food aisle, just in case.  If there was tahini in the Zehr's in Orangeville, it was well hidden.  Bravo I say to the staff at said grocery store, you have succeeded.   Rest assured, I had to go to the whole foods store to get the kombucha (which is pronounced kombu-cha, not kombuka as the friendly organic granola vegan eating hippy store clerk so snottily informed me) and it was here that I found the tahini.

So after tonight I'll be eating raw food till Wednesday night.  I'm a little afraid.  First of all I have to learn how to de-vein kale.  I didn't even know leafy greens had veins, and now I have to learn how to remove them.  Also, typically my mornings involve sleeping until I absolutely have to get up and taking a package of instant oatmeal to work for breakfast.  Tomorrow I have to make a smoothie.  This is going to mean getting up to give myself enough time to make the smoothie!  That's got to be at least 10 minutes of sleep I'm sacrificing.  Tonight, after I de-vein the kale, I'm making a salad for lunch with a ginger apple cider dressing.  There's going to be cutting and slicing of vegetables and finding an appropriate container with which to transport all the kale and veggies and the ginger and apple cider dressing which I am still yet to make.

So for the next 3 days my blogs will revolve around my raw cleanse progress.  In advance, there's a chance I might be a touch cranky over the next few days, so I will apologize now.  Until tomorrow...

Cheers,

I REALLY SHOULD HAVE WORN STRETCHIER PANTS

Today was the celebratory day of shopping for my self and a friend (who I now know is an avid reader of my blogs ; P) who completed a loose 10lbs in one month challenge.  She succeeded, I came up 4.5lbs short.   The deadline for the weigh in was last Wednesday and, thanks to over consumption of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, bread and an orgy of pies, I didn't exactly hit the target.  I thought I'd generously give myself an extension to Friday, but due to some serious water retention from forces beyond my control, the scale was not my friend.  Will check again next week, but will have a blow torch handy if the scale is not in my favour.

In light of my somewhat dismal failure at the weight loss challenge, which was my idea by the way, I said I was not going to buy anything other then a new sports bra.  Do you know what it's like for a woman to be in a mall full of clothes and say "I'm just looking?"  It's like trying to hold back the sea, and the sea, she's very angry.  Before I knew it i was standing in a change room with what seemed like a rack full of clothes, like I just said "bring me all the clothes, I will wear them!!"  Actually it was two shirts and one dress, but still...

My typical experience with shopping has been this:  If you have money and you want to find new clothes, there is nothing but hideous things that don't fit and make you look like you squoze yourself into sausage casing.  If you have no money and you don't need to buy anything, you'll find an entire wardrobe that is perfect.  My other typical experience with shopping is that I hate the mirrors in the mall.  Is it the lighting, the angle of the mirror?  I know I didn't leave the house looking like bozo the clown after a night of binge drinking and a pizza eating contest, why do I look like that now?  Today, as any other day when I was "just looking,"  the shopping mall stars aligned.  The store mirrors made me look fantastic, the clothes didn't look like I was trying to squeeze myself into a child's size and there were oh so many wonderful shirts, dresses & jackets to choose from.  So I shopped.  I did show some restraint, but still I flexed my plastic muscle a little bit more then I would have liked to.  But I have to admit, it felt pretty damned good to be comfortable in my skin and wearing clothes that didn't make me look like a dump truck, so even though I splurged more then I should have, I don't regret it.

What I will regret is the feeding frenzy that happened post shopping spree.   Both my friend and I have been working hard, and eating clean (with the exception of the Thanksgiving weekend) and so when we got to the restaurant, in spite of my best intentions, the food monster in me was unleashed.  There was poutine, and nachos, and cheesy garlic bread and wings and some kind of mexican tuna concoction.  Our whole table was covered in plates of food.  There was enough for another 4 people to have joined us.   The servers kept trying to clear the plates even before we had emptied them.  I think its because the other patrons were starting to get uncomfortable.  And we ate as though we had never had food before, and after 4 weeks of eating very healthy, it was almost like I had never had food like that before.  I am so full it's disgusting.  I just got home, I can't believe my pants didn't explode on the ride back from the city.   Fortunately for me, I'm starting a 3 day raw cleanse on Monday and boy do I have something to cleanse now.

Here's to hoping your Saturday night is as full and robust as mine was!

Cheers,

WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING!?!?!

To paraphrase the classic Sam Cooke song "another (Friday) night and I ain't got no body."   Laundry is done, so I don't even have that to fall back on.  For some ridiculous reason I agreed to work tomorrow so I'm not even able to sit back and enjoy a bottle of wine...

No, I'm home, flipping through the channels and I can't help but notice the complete downward spiral of what passes for entertainment these days.  Shows about groups of drunk people with lax morals living in a house by a beach, drinking and screwing as much as they can.  Shows about hillbillies of any variety, living in a swamp, participating in child beauty pageants, buying storage units.  Shows about women with no self worth who need to be told that the married man they've been seeing for years isn't going to leave his wife for them.... the list just goes on and on.  I'm not preaching from a pedestal either, so don't think I'm looking down my nose at anyone who watches these shows.  I have fallen victim many times to the vacuous television programming that seems to be lurking on each station.  

The thing is, people love smutt don't we?  If there's a chance of seeing someone fall flat on their face, both literally and figuratively, in a totally humiliating and public forum, we're all for it.  Let's put a bunch of dudes on a show all vying for the attention of one woman, while she judges them and then dismisses them like an article of clothing.  Then we'll watch them fight, cry and plead for her.  That's entertainment!

Is it just that all the good ideas have been done, or have we just lowered our standards to such a base level that we are thrilled to watch this trash?  It's difficult to say really.  I've been addicted to Jersey Shore for the last 5 seasons, and I am not proud of it.   It's not something I share lightly, but I can't get enough of watching these self centred, egotistical morons parade around drunk and act like apes.  Its just good shit.

Today someone informed me that there is a show, which I have also learned has recently been cancelled, called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, and that I must watch it.  It's hilariously about an obese mother who's daughter participates in child beauty pageants (which is a whole other beast in and of itself) and all this takes place in the deep south where having teeth is considered a measure of high standing.  My first thought was "I have got to see that" my second thought was why?  What happened to the clever shows like Arrested Development?  Why do they not thrive like this base classless garbage we can't seem to get enough of?  It's like the McDonald's of the TV world, full of nothing but empty calories that keep us longing for more. 

I guess there's nothing we can do but push onward, wading though mindless shows that make us feel better about our small existence on this big blue planet.   And so to that, I am about to hit play on the PVR for the latest episode of Jersey Shore.

Cheers,

A DAY TO REMEMBER

Today is the first international Day of the Girl and I didn't even know that was a thing.  It seems that it is somewhat connected to the girl who was shot and killed by the Taliban in Pakistan.  I have had a busy day and haven't had a chance to read up on all the details of the Day of the Girl.

It seems to me like this is long overdue, and the fact that it took a girl activist being shot, by the taliban no less, to make this happen is quite a sad state of affairs.  Its 2012 and yet it seems all around us the rights of women and girls are taking a backward slide in society.  Now I hate to go all Gloria Steinem on everyone, but feminism is not parading around on a music video in a bra and underwear shouting "girl power."  In the US we have Mitt Romney and his cronies touting "legitimate rape" as being something that "a woman's body has a way of handling so that she won't get pregnant" while in other states the abortion laws are being overturned left right and centre.  Even in Canada, some politicians seek to open the debate about when life begins and protecting the fetus.  There have been significant cut backs in women's health and services all across the board.  It seems the politicians of North America feel that a woman's body is not hers to decide what should be done to it.  Isn't that the very reason we sent soldiers to die in countries like Afghanistan and Iraq?  Aren't those the kinds of freedoms that people died for?  Soon they'll be telling us we aren't people again and we will have to give back the right to vote or own land.

Maybe that's a little bit too pessimistic, but I think we have become complacent in the last 30 years.   Feminism was never about being able to dress a certain way.  What would our bra burning feminist sisters of the 60's say?  Sure there's been some major improvements, but we are by no means equal yet.  Men still dominate the board room & the political arena, and apparently they think we should all just be quiet and do as we're told.

On this, the first international Day of the Girl, I would encourage you to think about what feminism means to you, and if you don't think you're a feminist then look it up.  You might be surprised to find that the stereo type of tattooed lesbians with shaved heads, is not actually what being a feminist is.  I encourage you to think about what issues are really at stake for you, your mother, sisters, and daughters...

I know, this one was a little intense, but deservedly so.  Wishing you a happy and healthy Day of the Girl,

Cheers,

I DON'T REALLY LIKE GRAPE JUICE UNLESS ITS BEEN FERMENTED...

Ahoy hoy good readers,

I really don't have one particular subject worth devoting the entirety of this blank screen too, so I'm going to share with you a few random thoughts, observances and/or musings.  Technically, I guess a musing would be the same as a thought, only fancier...

Has anyone been to the deodorant isle lately?  What is going on in there?  I mean at one point did shower fresh or baby powder become not enough of an option for our armpits?  Now they've got pomegranate passion, vanilla swirl, mango tango, these sounds more like something you'd order at a smoothie bar then something you'd roll under your pits!  I even saw one called red silk.  What the hell does red silk smell like?  I could maybe even forgive just plain old silk because I'm sure silk has its own smell, but to specifically define the scent of red silk?  Well that, my friends, is just arrogant.  I know the manufacturer is just trying to increase their monthly yields, but I think we have come as far as we can with deodorant and maybe its time to turn out attention to more pressing matters like finding the cure for diabetes or something... I'm just saying, a lot of time and money probably went into the market research as well as the scientific process, of making a deodorant that makes you're underarm shimmer like a pearl and smell like fresh lavender in the fields of France...   Could have been better spent is all.


Plastic surgery has always seemed like and odd choice to me.   Has anyone noticed that after several face lifts and lip injections they all start to look the same.  And you know who they look like?  They look like the hippy muppet from the muppet show, the one with huge lips.   Why the hell does anyone need lips that big anyway, what are you planning on doing with those, using them as a raft for the coming of the flood?  Look we all have hang ups, but if you're whole self worth is tied up in how you look then something is not right people.  Beauty is really only skin deep.  Have you ever seen someone and thought "wow, he/she is really good looking?"  and then they open their mouth and turn out to be a racist idiot and all of sudden you don't think they're so goo looking... That's what its all about.  Work on the inside, forget about the outside, it's nothing a little vanilla swirl deodorant can't improve.  And the beauty about vanilla swirl deodorant is, chances are if you use it you won't wake up with a nipple that's out of line with the other nipple.

That might be all the time we have for tonight's session.  If you're looking for some good, healthy and somewhat gluten free recipes I suggest the following link.  I've got tonnes of great ideas off of it.

THE GRACIOUS PANTRY

Enjoy & cheers,