Good Monday evening, my bloggies (my new word for my readers). I sincerely hope you can forgive the radio silence I've been under, or rather blog silence. It's been a hectic weekend, which as you may guess, is riddled with calamity and hilarity. Without further ado, let me get you up to speed since we last met on my blog.
Friday night, after a failed attempt to control the food monster in me, I went to bed full of Tostitos and guacamole and a couple of glasses of red wine. I awoke around 2:30 to the worst charlie horse/leg cramp I have ever had. It struck me in the shin, on the outside of my left leg. I tried everything to get it to ease up, but the only thing that worked seemed to be standing and walking on it. Which would have been all well and good on any given Friday, except I was picking up an extra early shift on Saturday morning. Not so great. When it was time to get up, I was exhausted from a restless sleep.
Saturday's shift went well, uneventful, I even got out early. I thought I'll go home and have a nap with all this extra time I have! Oh the afternoon nap, so illusive in its nature.
For a little over a year now, myself and three girlfriends get together every few weeks for a dinner party. Whoever is hosting does the main course, and each of us contribute something else i.e. dessert, drinks and appetizers. I was on drinks this time, which happens to be my specialty. Now this group of friends all lives about an hour away from me, so I was on a time schedule to get there, which meant my nap had to involve the alarm clock. I came home at 1pm, set the alarm for 3pm as a worst case scenario. As exhausted as I was, I could not sleep. Neighbours were out howling in the streets like a bunch of wild beasts, somehow the sound of vacuum cleaners being slammed into furniture was reverberating through the entire house, and the capper of it all was the two steeped teas I had consumed in the morning were doing their caffein best to keep me awake. I finally slipped into a deep sleep, at 2:50pm. I stumbled into the shower, attempted a new styling device for my hair (not a good idea to bust out a new toy when you're on a tight time table). By the time my hair was done it was already 10 minutes later then I planned to leave and I still had yet to do make up and choose an outfit! I ended up leaving half an hour later then I intended and so I was late. I'm blaming the majority of this on the curling spin brush doohickey, the rest is on me for not having pre planned an outfit.
Once at the party I began to drink. It was a great time, as usual. I remember laughing and eating and talking girls stuff with the girls. Solving all the worlds problems while stuffing my face and drinking wine like I was Italian. Then came Sunday morning. The damage was worse then I had thought. I woke up at 11:22am like I was a teenager again. My head felt like it had grown 3 times its size and I must have been sucking on cotton balls all night my mouth was so dry. I made may way down to the living room and it was on this trip down the stairs that I discovered I had painted my nails at some point in the night. Shockingly, I did a fairly good job. I gathered up my belongings and hopped in my truck to make the drive home. It was on the drive home that I started receiving text messages. They were replies to the many texts I had sent the night before, some were sent to the girls who were at the party and sitting across from me when I sent them. These texts ranged anywhere from requests to pass the chicken to, summer vacation plans to a message about a new species of praying mantis which I can not explain. I responded to my friends in kind, explaining the copious amounts of wine that went into each text message. This seemed to placate everyone, and I thought everything was fine until someone informed me that my tweet was hilarious. What? I was tweeting? I will quote "I'm so drunk! RT if you're #drunk" I'd like to remind you I just turned 31 two weeks ago. Once I realized that twitter was open season I figured I'd better check Facebook. There were two similar posts on there as well. Remember when the worst thing you could do was drunk dial? Now we can text, and message and take pictures to send them to people, who don't find a sideways picture of a wine bottle to be as riotously funny as you did at the time, even if there is a porcupine on the label. And if that's not enough, through the magic of twitter and Facebook we can share with the world just how drunken and ridiculous we are. Let us all be thankful my laptop was safely at home and well out of arms reach or god only knows what would have popped up on here on Saturday night/Sunday morning.
I guess what it boils down to is that not only do I owe my bloggies an apology for my absence in blog, but I also owe anyone who was a member of my contact list, twitter follower or Facebook friend an apology for my very public display of intoxication. For now I am back on the straight and narrow, and after the epic hangover that I think I am still dealing with, I intend to stay in a state of sobriety for a very long time.
Stay tuned for a copy of the 3 day raw cleanse to be posted soon...
Cheers,
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