On the topic of my nausea and exhaustion, I can say with little regret, it is entirely self inflicted. In true anti-valentines fashion, I went out last night, on the 13th of February, to a concert, where I double fisted double glasses of wine (two glasses poured into one, the drink line was a 30 minute wait) which I then drank through a straw so that I could dance without fear of spilled wine. It was a country concert, but let me be clear, this is not your grandma's country music. We partied like it was 1999 and if I'd had access to a computer last night you surely would have been treated to one of my infamous drunk blogs. Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately, depending on your prerogative) we did not have to deal with that aftermath this morning.
The aftermath I am dealing with is exhaustion, fuzzy head, churning stomach and extremely sore shoulders which I can only assume is from excessive arm waving. Yes the night was a success, but surviving the hangover is the real change. Why is it that the only known cure for a hangover is greasy food? It's the one thing we can collectively agree, that after a night of excess, is the only thing that will satisfy our angry stomachs. Have you ever woken up hungover and thought "a salad would really make me feel better?" No you haven't, I don't care what kind of vegan tree hugging hippy you are on a normal day. When your head is the size of a beach ball there isn't enough tofu in the world that will comfort you. Look at the fast food industry; they know this phenomenon well and have been capitalizing on it for years with post bar hours. There must be some kind of magic in grease that we have not yet discovered. For now I am content to do my own studies. I will keep you posted of my progress.
Now on the more contentious subject of Valentines Day, what can I say that hasn't already been said by others? I mean we all know what a commercial machine it is. Flowers, chocolates, cards, candy, restaurants, all beneficiaries of the great marketing machine that keeps this "holiday" alive. And I'm sure it's lovely to be given flowers or whatever from your significant other, but isn't it worth more to receive some romantic gesture, big or small, for no reason? It's expected on this, the midway point of February, that couples, and lets face it the onus falls primarily on the male in the relationship, to run out and buy some little trinket to express how much they love their partner. And how about that pressure? What if you get the wrong thing? What if your partner's gift to you is significantly better then the one you got them? Imagine the horror of a new relationship, when you just know the meaning of your gift/card/gesture is going to be analized by every female the gift receiver knows and will be assigned meaning you could never dreamt possible let alone deliberately thought of. The length of time the relationship will last could be in jeopardy all because of some ridiculous holiday, which I firmly believe, was made up by Hallmark Cards. I say no more my friends! It is time we liberated ourselves from this dated practice of shattering the self confidence of school children when they don't receive as many cards in their little card bag as their more popular class mates.
Let's stop this madness now and in that vane I would like to announce February 13th shall henceforth be known as "drink in my hand day." Festivities will consist of putting a drink in your hand, and having a rocking good time with friends and not caring what the next day is going to feel like. It doesn't matter, you're good friend grease will be there to ease you through the next day anyway.
Cheers,
No comments:
Post a Comment