Oh this has been a long time coming people, and by that I mean both this blog and the inevitable breakdown I had while watching the shopping network nearly a fortnight ago.
First off, let me start by saying, the lapse in blog was not my doing. Well it was, but in a way that was related to a very busy schedule of kick-boxing, skating, spinning and training. I have so much to share with you, but I'm afraid my crazy would be too overwhelming for one long blog so I may have to break this up over a few blogs. Just pace yourself, if you're reading this, and if you begin to feel, at any time, the need to make an impulsive purchase from the shopping network followed by an immediate urge to go to Tim Horton's, even if you don't have a Tim Horton's because you live in Australia, please stop reading at once! This is my disclaimer and I will not be held accountable for any ill fated decisions regarding shopping or eating.
Now let us begin by harkening back to yesteryore, or as I like to call it, Sunday of the week will. I don't normally watch the shopping channel. Nor do I typically eat omelettes and homefries I made myself on a Sunday morning, but sometimes things just kind of fall into place and this is where the story begins. Actually the story begins further back if you recall my raw food expedition and cooking class. Our instructor had this machine called a Vitamix. I had never heard of such a contraption, but it's basically a blender on crack. This thing can take any solid and turn in into ground up powder in seconds. I think it has the horse power of a dodge hemi at a NASCAR race. I also learned, on that fateful Sunday morning, that it is so powerful it can make hot soup simply by leaving the combined soup ingredients in the Vitamix for five minutes and letting the friction the blades generate do the work. That's a powerful tool. Now that I have accepted the fact that I have a gluten allergy, I find myself experimenting more and more in the kitchen. And what's more, I find myself wanting to make things from scratch so I know exactly what is in them (see the pestle and mortar blog from earlier). But so many recipes call for blenders and food processors and while I have a small blender that does a decent job at smoothies, I am limited in my abilities to pulverize food to a pulp like consistency as so many recipes call for. And so, in a moment of weakness, watching the shopping channel showing off all the fancy features of the vitamin (it's a blender, food processor, ice cream maker, nut butter maker and 16 different kitchen appliances all in one!) I logged onto the website and ordered. What would regularly cost close to $700 at a store, will be mine in six easy payments of $93.39 and let me tell you, when that high-powered blending bastard gets delivered, I'm going to make things I didn't even know I could make.
Okay, so that's what happened almost two weeks ago, let's fast forward a bit now to last Sunday. Actually wait, like all my stories, we have to back up a bit first. So about two months ago a friend invited me to join her and her husband and some other friends to go to Ottawa in February to skate on the Rideau canal. For those unfamiliar with this, it is a Canadian tradition that dates back for many years. People skate the canal, some people skate to work, some just for leisure. It is something I have always wanted to do, so when she asked I did not hesitate. The hesitation came much later when I realized it's been nine years since I strapped a pair of blades to my feet and went out on the ice. I wasn't worried though, as I told all my friends, "I was born skating, I took to it like a duck to water, I just know I'll pick it up again as soon as I get on the ice." Nevertheless I thought it imperative to get out a couple of times and get some practice in, after all we will be skating 15km round trip, though we're stopping at a bar at the midway point, so the 7.5km back may be less graceful all around. Last Friday I dug out the old figure skates and had them sharpened and then Sunday I headed to the outdoor rink, hopeful that it would be empty and I could have the rink to myself. Now for anyone who is familiar with skating and skating rinks, let me describe this out door "rink." It was essentially a patch of grass behind the arena that they have flooded. It's full of ruts and bumps and even a couple of hills. It is also a perfect square shape and has no boards around the outside. It's not ideal. When I arrived, there was a husband and wife and their two young children shooting pucks at a net. I thought, "well that's not too bad, it's only four people." I started to lace up the skates, remembering then how uncomfortable they are, and then wondered how I would get from my vehicle to the ice surface that was about 20 feet away. Not a large distance by any means, but when I took my first step on to the blades in almost a decade, I might as well have been crossing the Mohave desert. I Bambi stepped my way across the snow covered grass and made it to the surface. I took my first uncertain steps on to the ice and felt the familiar slice of the blade on ice. I was still very unsteady and working with a small end of the "rink" while the family continued to shoot pucks at the net. The father informed me they'd stay at their end and stay out of my way, clearly seeing how unsteady I was. A mere six or seven strides in I caught a pick in a rut where grass was growing through the ice and went down like wounded gazelle. I am exaggerating a little. I dropped onto one knee, and then somehow through a miracle of god I managed to get back up like nothing happened. Oh but something had happened and a few moments later, the five year old puck shooting child took it upon himself to offer me his assistance. He skated over to me and said "skating is easy, you just have to bend your knees." Now had this happened to anyone else and I saw it, it would have been heartwarming and sweet. He was genuinely concerned and trying to help. Being that I was on the receiving end of this child's encouragement, it was less endearing and more humiliating. I politely smiled and explained it had been a long time since I'd been on skates, so much for a "duck in water." I looked more like a wounded duck who had sustained a head injury. After about ten or fifteen minutes I could feel I was beginning to get my ice-legs back, but then a new problem arose. I realized, with a lack of board to help my get off the ice, there was a maximum potential for face plant upon exiting the rink. Another ten minutes passed and the hockey family was beginning to pack up. I thought "ok good, once they're gone I'll make my move to get off the ice and if I fall, no one will be there to witness it," kind of like the old adage, if a tree falls in the forrest... This was not to be, for just as they began to load up, two car loads of people arrived. I had only two options. I could stay on the ice for the rest of the day until there was no one there, or I could just suck it up and go for it. Since my feet were aching and I was beginning to get dizzy from going around in a circle on my small patch of ice, I opted to just go for it. Amazingly, it went off without a hitch. I feel like it wasn't totally inane to watch also, but I could have just been so exhilarated to be off the ice without further incident that I am remembering it with rose coloured glasses.
So it seems I have some work to do before Ottawa after all. No need to worry, there's still time, and at the very least I'm sure it will generate more fodder for blog material.
I had some random commentary regarding Tim Horton's, but I think that's enough for one night. My left eye is beginning to twitch and and I'm starting to feel like I need chocolate. That's a sign that I should quit now while I'm ahead.
Cheers,
No comments:
Post a Comment